As I write this from a trendy Clarendon (a bro-tastic Arlington, VA neighborhood) coffeeshop, it is bitterly cold outside. It has also been a month since we left Hawaii, so this is the first time I've had the chance and/or have enough of an update to write. While it's still too early to fully make up my mind about this place, I can say this: Northern VA/D.C. has welcomed us with open arms! There is so much to love about this place, and all of our big changes so far have been relatively smooth.
First of all, we survived a military move! Chris is an old pro, but I'm new to this game. Nothing was broken and the actual delivery went well. We still have tons of stuff to put away, which doesn't get done very quickly when you're both working, and MOUNDS of paper and boxes permeate our living space, but that's just normal stuff. Everyone told me to brace myself for high value items being broken and/or our crate falling off the ship in the middle of the sea, but it seems that we dodged that bullet.
The weather here has been great, except for today. It hasn't been colder than Ithaca, so as far as I'm concerned, that's great news! It snowed a bit last night, which was delightful! Today, however, it's bitterly cold. I got in the car to venture a few miles down the road to try this new coffee shop, and while driving FOUR MILES WITH MY GLOVES ON, my hands were in extreme pain. The other big thing everyone told us to brace ourselves for was traffic. It's definitely a thing, and I don't think I'll ever be able to drive anywhere aside from local neighborhood hangs without a GPS, but it hasn't been terrible...knock on wood. Chris has had an average commute considering that he works a good bit away, and I just drove in the direction of traffic a few towns over and wasn't at all intimidated. Tonight I drive over an hour to a hair appointment in the thick of rush hour, so wish me luck!
Work: it's still new, but I really like remote work! I don't work a ton of hours but still feel busy. There is a lot on my plate, which I like. I have an upcoming exam for grad school on top of unpacking, doing the normal move things (cable, internet, car registration, learning where the post office is, etc.), and I honestly don't get everything done that I set out to do each day. When the exam is over, I'm going to take a few days to relax and make sure we're settled, then begin volunteer work. I'm really looking forward to it! Even without "going to work" or having a new major activity here to meet new people, I've met a ton of people through some common friends. Perhaps the best part of D.C. living is that there are SO MANY people we know and love from all corners of our life. Not only do I have 5+ high school friends here, but one of my very best friends is here, and several Hawaii connections live nearby as well. Everyone has been wonderful about reaching out to help us get set up, but we honestly just haven't had the time to do anything. We're still not set up at home and we're both getting used to our work routines. I think that in two weeks, we should be set to start meeting up with old friends. I really want to make new friends as well (that might've been my favorite part about moving back home - I met SO many wonderful people who weren't from my childhood that it kept every day interesting), but know that'll come with time.
We are both so incredibly eager to jump into this new life. D.C. life is it's own thing. Hawaii has HILife and Ithaca definitely had its own vibe as well. I think I've just been so incredibly fortunate to live in places with really unique personalities. D.C. is no exception. There are countless amazing things to do and no shortage of restaurants and bars for us to try. We want to try them all while keeping up with our wedding diets and exercise! I'd love to see everyone I know ASAP, but there don't seem to be enough hours in the day. I know it'll come in time, so for now, I'll just keep focusing on getting our house to feel like a home.
I was so worried for this transition; I thought that I'd totally unravel and that I'd lose my sense of self and have nothing to do. I don't think that situation could be further from the truth! I definitely expect the worst, and was thankfully wrong. Of course, there is still a lot of time for me to get a pang of homesickness or to have a minor meltdown, but so far, so good. I can't believe that we are getting married in LESS THAN FIVE MONTHS AHHHHH. We have made good progress but still have a TON of wedding-related things to do. I told myself that once I got to March (bridal shower, dress fittings, mom visiting), things would fly by. That's still the case, but this time is ALREADY flying by!! There is so much to do and so much to look forward to that I don't have the chance to stop and lament anything. I get to work a bit, hopefully benefit SJV and my former students, and make a little extra cash. It's enough to keep my busy without biting off more than I can chew. I kept thinking that I should get another part-time job to supplement this one, but the school year here would conflict with our wedding and honeymoon plans. I kept thinking that I should find more work. I'm honestly glad that I didn't, because there is no way we would have cable, internet, cars, things set up, dinner made, etc. if I was gone too. This way, I can venture out, work a few hours, come home, study, set up, make some food, and take care of all of the moving errands. I would be so overwhelmed with two jobs, so I think I did it right. For now, I'll just wait to hear from PhD programs and hope that something comes my way. If that doesn't work out, I will gladly begin my job hunt and no doubt find something in one of these amazing school districts.
Real Estate: Our newest hobby is searching for homes on Zillow. We didn't think we'd be settled enough to buy yet, but are beginning to realize the investment that buying a home in this area would be, even if it's just a starter home. The only problem: $$$$$$$$$$$$$. I picked a neighborhood that I liked and ran a search for homes up to $500,000. There were barely any foreclosures! Ouch. Hopefully we'll begin working with a realtor soon and maybe we can even find our own place around the time we're married! Woo! It's exciting and totally daunting at the same time. Home prices here are no joke.
Finally: people are really friendly here! Everyone always totes Hawaii as the friendliest place, but people have been very helpful, courteous, and kind here. The people I knew (worked with, friends, family) in Hawaii were amazing, as were most random people you met. However, there were always a few loose cannons at restaurants, retail stores, or just roaming the street. I actually think that on average, people are friendlier here. We haven't had a rude encounter or a jerk driver yet, so that's good news. We feel very, very safe and are temporarily living in a gorgeous neighborhood with a public high school that makes HI's top private schools look average. There is so much to learn about this place, but our first month deserves two huge thumbs up! It's definitely better than I expected (and I expected great things!) and all has gone well. Hopefully we feel a little less busy soon, and hopefully we can see our HI clan very soon!
Showing posts with label busy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label busy. Show all posts
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Where has the time gone?
Wowzers, I started writing a cathartic post because I was feeling really overwhelmed, but I feel better now. Good thing - I forgot to save my draft!
Here's a summary of the last month or two:
Pure bliss. Fiji was incredible. I decided that after one international trip, I probably don't need another this summer! If the price is right, I'll head to NY to volunteer and meet up with some friends. If not, I have big plans to get into the best shape of my life, to possibly learn to scuba, and to hit up as many music teachers as possible to shadow them, learn from them, and work toward becoming my personal best and improving all of the terrible habits I picked up in this first year.
Speaking of those bad habits, I was feeling pretty down about what a shitty, inexperienced, fail of a director I am. Not looking for sympathy, so don't respond with that; it just hit me how many things I did failed or weren't well planned. None of it was intentional, but I guess you live and learn. I was really overwhelmed by it all, but a talk with Chris helped to put it into perspective.
This is the busiest I have ever been in my life. There were four days last quarter where I felt I wasn't doing enough and needed to contribute to the school, the community, and my friends more. I took on as much as possible. I'm DYING now but it will all be over in a month, more or less. I'll definitely be smarter with my time next year. I'm already overloaded as is - no need to be ridiculous about it. I'm sure that even though I'll be more familiar with the routine and my goals, grad school apps will throw a wrench into everything. Gotta start researching UM, IC, and FSU this summer!
Weekends have been amazing, as was my first-ever military function, aside from a JROTC function in HS. I never ever thought I'd be attending a military event, but I'm very glad I did - what a riot! It doesn't hurt that an incredible guy took me, either. ;)
Feeling a lot more satisfied and optimistic than a few days ago. Final stretch. Caffeine. Preparation. Less sleep. Cat pictures. Let's do this!
Here's a summary of the last month or two:
Pure bliss. Fiji was incredible. I decided that after one international trip, I probably don't need another this summer! If the price is right, I'll head to NY to volunteer and meet up with some friends. If not, I have big plans to get into the best shape of my life, to possibly learn to scuba, and to hit up as many music teachers as possible to shadow them, learn from them, and work toward becoming my personal best and improving all of the terrible habits I picked up in this first year.
Speaking of those bad habits, I was feeling pretty down about what a shitty, inexperienced, fail of a director I am. Not looking for sympathy, so don't respond with that; it just hit me how many things I did failed or weren't well planned. None of it was intentional, but I guess you live and learn. I was really overwhelmed by it all, but a talk with Chris helped to put it into perspective.
This is the busiest I have ever been in my life. There were four days last quarter where I felt I wasn't doing enough and needed to contribute to the school, the community, and my friends more. I took on as much as possible. I'm DYING now but it will all be over in a month, more or less. I'll definitely be smarter with my time next year. I'm already overloaded as is - no need to be ridiculous about it. I'm sure that even though I'll be more familiar with the routine and my goals, grad school apps will throw a wrench into everything. Gotta start researching UM, IC, and FSU this summer!
Weekends have been amazing, as was my first-ever military function, aside from a JROTC function in HS. I never ever thought I'd be attending a military event, but I'm very glad I did - what a riot! It doesn't hurt that an incredible guy took me, either. ;)
Feeling a lot more satisfied and optimistic than a few days ago. Final stretch. Caffeine. Preparation. Less sleep. Cat pictures. Let's do this!
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Enter the Journey
September is almost here. I meant to update sooner (just like I meant to answer FB happy birthday posts and return to meditation and yoga sooner, too), but life has been nuts. I have pretty much zero balance in my life - every morning (wake up is at 5AM, and I even think that I might need to wake up sooner), every afternoon, and every evening is dominated by work. That being said, I have been waiting four years for this and wouldn't trade it for the world. Let's recap, shall we?
Work has been tough lately. I mean, really tough. Last week was kind of the chaotic low point. We began band rehearsals last week, and I quickly came to realize that I had NFI what I was doing. I can teach pretty well in a small group or private setting, but twenty kids with noisemakers in their hands was an entirely different story. Seriously, nothing in the world could've prepared me for this. I found that, on day three, I needed to redo my classroom management policies since it was just too chaotic, and little was being accomplished. Perhaps more importantly, I needed to lower my expectations. I was so used to teaching privately that I expected my students to learn way more than they actually could with twenty of them and one of me. Lesson learned. Also, after student teaching and doing some research, I decided that I needed to hold my students to the high standards that I would like them to achieve. I wasn't sure what could expect during student teaching, as the students weren't my own, and and didn't know much about what is normal for a high school wind musician. High standards worked well in Glee, but in this case, these students that I have really haven't been held to exceptionally high standards before, so jumping in head first, expecting a ton, didn't work out. It's one thing to have high behavioral expectations (and I do and am constantly striving to hold myself and my students to them), but it's another to have high musical expectations in a program that is just beginning to be rebuilt again. I learned the hard way that it is much better to accomplish something small and do it well than to rush through the plan because I feel like I have to. Lesson learned, the hard (but meaningful) way.
Also, I'd just like to add here that I'm beginning to fear failure less and less. I learn so much from every mistake, that they are beginning to be welcomed and not feared.
I had a rough couple days starting the kids in band, so I decided to switch us to the sectional format. The students have been thriving and are experiencing much more success. Tomorrow, I send home probably the fourth revision of our schedule in two weeks (I feel horrible about this), but it is at the request of the students since they are really learning a lot and I am able to better meet their needs. Again, live and learn.
After a particularly hard day, I felt like I wanted to cry; I felt so, so frustrated. I was a failure after being told by so many people that I'll be a superstar music teacher. I also had no idea how I would get through the day (AND the year). I found myself trying to cry, but totally unable to get anything to come out. I also turned to one of my very favorite professor's books, written about the first year of teaching music, for some advice. I was reminded that plenty of people have jobs (call them first jobs if you like - I have no idea if this will be my first job, only job, last job, or first out of many jobs) like this at first, and they get a ton of experience from it. Also, it seemed that several others were just as overwhelmed with their myriad of responsibilities like I was feeling. Finally, I was also reminded that more than anything, students want to experience success. And I was reminded that I should not overshoot a concert. I guess I was just feeling so successful after Glee that I thought I could shoot for the moon, and even if we miss, we will land among the stars. It's not that we can't shoot for the moon, it's just that we have to take our time in doing so. I felt refreshed, and went about helping students find success the next day. The funny thing is, no matter how bad my day or a situation seems to be, I am finding that there is a little voice deep inside that says "try again tomorrow" without fail. And you know what? I reflect, strive to improve, and tomorrow is better. These mistakes aren't fatal; they are essential to my development.
The next day was so much better. I came with a totally different attitude -- instead of being frustrated that my students weren't moving quicker, I came ready to celebrate any success that they might find, and to cultivate a culture of respect in each ensemble. It was tremendously more successful. It also happened that I was being observed (for the third time since the start of the school year!) by the principal. it couldn't have been better! I guess I learned a hard lesson just in time for an observation. :) Afterward, our principal (whom I am very fond of - he's an outstanding administrator!) wrote me a pretty formal letter of recommendation, sharing that he is very proud to be my administrator, and thanking me for my work at the school thus far. He was so incredibly supportive and seemed to be thrilled with the work I was doing. It helped me to see past that week, and end the week much better than it began. I wrote him after thanking him, and telling him how much it meant to me after such a crazy week. He assured me that there would be several more weeks like this, but encouraged me to reach out to my mentor teachers because they are all here to support and guide me. I couldn't feel more lucky. This is a very small school with limited resources, but it is most certainly not lacking in love or support.
I meant to get more done that weekend, but admittedly did enjoy many social interactions on Saturday. These lifted my soul. Even though there was plenty of work to be done, I did need a break. I had an awesome time with my bf on Saturday night! I'm beginning to feel for the first time in our three to four year relationship that we're having a chance to get to know each other in a different way. We've never been around each other for more than three months at a time, so this is nice! There is no rushing to hang out or get things done together. Also, I feel like our love (or at least mine) is maturing. I feel more capable of reaching compromises rather than getting upset or complaining. My mentor teacher gave me good advice about love the other day: she said that no person is perfect, and as we grow older, we grow a little more different. She said that what's lacking from today's relationships is that people are too ready to throw everything away when something isn't perfect, whereas people of her generation would compromise and strive to be understanding. That really blew me away, because I'm often one to want to throw things away (in any situation, not specificailly a relationship) when they don't go well. She reminded me that love takes work and it is not perfect. Also, in honors literature, we are reading To Kill a Mockingbird. Harper Lee implies that maturity is reached when one can walk in another's shoes. By this definition, I am definitely not mature yet, but I want to work toward this, and I feel myself improving, even if only slightly, everday.
I guess I'll just cut to the chase. Things have been better this week. I have come with a new and improved attitude toward the program and things have improved as a result. I have really, really sweet beginners who come in during lunch and WANT to practice! I also have a killer fifth grade hornist with an ear better than any other fifth grader I've ever worked with. There are a few kids who aren't great about showing up, but that is minor compared to the kids who come running in, ready for band at the start of the rehearsal. I guess my other frustrations this week have been...
That my students don't yet understand what a big deal music is, and don't show the respect to the downbeat of rehearsal and practice that I am used to. I would NEVER show up to band late or unprepared, but I must remember -- it took years for me to develop that. I was silly to expect that overnight, especially when that has never been the expectation. I must cultivate this culture. I have found that it has been easy with the young ones (they run around on the playground saying "early is on time, and on time is late!" but more challenging with the older ones. They aren't used to this, but I finally, on Thursday of the next week, feel like they are warming up to me and are kind of excited about band. Tardiness and attendance is still an issue (I have a very talented student who hasn't been to the last four rehearsals beacuse he forgets...I guess that's what I am up against for not having band in the schedule (it is during lunch and after school)), but it is getting better, and honestly, the change will probably take time. I guess I was expecting everyone to be on board right away, and to be able to begin selecting musically appropriate literature and programming themed concerts. It's not that I can't do that, it's just that I have lots of other smaller steps to take before I can worry about buying music that isn't in the method book and getting super creative. Still, I'm determined to include musicality and creativity everyday, and not just once we are more advanced. It's just really challenging. Once this year's beginners get it, they can help to spread the culture next year, and so forth. If I really love this job and the third graders now grow up with this culture, in a few years, things could really be spectacular. I'll just have to see if the pros outweigh the cons. It's looking a lot more like it will now that it's been a few weeks.
Next, my hall is rented out for community use during the nights and weekends. When I return the next morning, it is almost always not as I left it. Last night, the group LEFT THE FANS RUNNING ALL NIGHT, set the alarm incorrectly, moved around my chairs (WITH NAME TAGS ON THEM) and screwed up the seating for beginning orchestra, and flipped my white board around. It took me about twenty minutes, first thing in the morning, to remedy this. Luckily, the parish staff is insanely supporive and filled with wonderful people. They told me to keep them posted and immediately contacted the group to let them know that they can't do this. They let me know that it won't get better overnight, but to keep them informed everytime it happens. It's nice to have folks on your side.
I must say, though - starting orchestra this week was nothing but joyous! The third and fourth graders take to it SO incredibly naturally. They are very, very respectful and attentive, and seriously a joy to work with! The older orchestral beginners are catching on even quicker, and are serving as beautiful role models for the younger ones. They have great ears and enjoyed tuning their instruments together. They are all so respectful, and since there are only four older ones, we get a ton done. I just spent an hour last night writing emails to parents whose children were excelling (per the awesome recommendation of our principal), and the response from the parents has been incredibly encouraging. So many of my students are off to great start that I can't help but feel happy. My two advanced strings players are already halfway through a duet, too! There is much, much work to be done here, but the students are receptive and a lot of fun to work with. It's not so much that I need to lower my standards as it is that I need to remember that they are seeking success and gently raise my musical standards for them (and NOT overprogram like I was about to)as time goes on. I think that we will have to aim for easier music this year (at least for the advanced students - the beginners will progress normally), but we will aim to do a really, really good job on it.
I've been conducting the eighth graders on their annual church song, and they present their gift of praise tomorrow in mass. I am also playing the portions of the mass on piano for the first time tomorrow, and am both nervous and really excited! At first, the eighth graders were really difficult to work with as a group - some of them (a very select few) were screwing around and not focusing, but today was an entirely different story - they were awesome, super focused, and very respectful. I finally feel like I'm building a solid relationship with them, which will hopefully pay off when I have to solo teach them. I really feel like I'm bonding with the honors literature students, so that helps a lot too. I had one incidient with a student being disrespectful that I can't disclose here, but let's just say that this student in some ways wasn't to blame, and it was handled and is now not an issue. Things are getting better, and I'm beginning to feel more like I'm part of campus life.
On that note, my fellow faculty members are insanely supportive. They are so, so kind, and I feel like everybody is looking out for me and asing me how I'm doing. Really, the love is all around. I couldn't feel more blessed!
Finally, I went back to the former Honolulu Community Concert Band (now the Honolulu Wind Ensemble) this week, despite being exhausted from work, and it was the best thing I could've done for myself! I felt very warmly welcomed back, and even thoguh my endurance was gone after two seconds, it was awesome to play again. The people there are so wonderful, and I truly, truly missed playing horn. I probably won't be studying privately again for a while, but it's OK because my work is cut out for me. No matter how tired I am, I will make it a point to go to rehearsal. I'm beginning to see the importance of being an artist educator, and not a has-been.
OK, forreal, one final thing. I've found that I'm so busy that I have to schedule time in to use the bathroom and drink water, or I'll forget to do it. Weird, huh? Yeah, way weird. Until next time!
Work has been tough lately. I mean, really tough. Last week was kind of the chaotic low point. We began band rehearsals last week, and I quickly came to realize that I had NFI what I was doing. I can teach pretty well in a small group or private setting, but twenty kids with noisemakers in their hands was an entirely different story. Seriously, nothing in the world could've prepared me for this. I found that, on day three, I needed to redo my classroom management policies since it was just too chaotic, and little was being accomplished. Perhaps more importantly, I needed to lower my expectations. I was so used to teaching privately that I expected my students to learn way more than they actually could with twenty of them and one of me. Lesson learned. Also, after student teaching and doing some research, I decided that I needed to hold my students to the high standards that I would like them to achieve. I wasn't sure what could expect during student teaching, as the students weren't my own, and and didn't know much about what is normal for a high school wind musician. High standards worked well in Glee, but in this case, these students that I have really haven't been held to exceptionally high standards before, so jumping in head first, expecting a ton, didn't work out. It's one thing to have high behavioral expectations (and I do and am constantly striving to hold myself and my students to them), but it's another to have high musical expectations in a program that is just beginning to be rebuilt again. I learned the hard way that it is much better to accomplish something small and do it well than to rush through the plan because I feel like I have to. Lesson learned, the hard (but meaningful) way.
Also, I'd just like to add here that I'm beginning to fear failure less and less. I learn so much from every mistake, that they are beginning to be welcomed and not feared.
I had a rough couple days starting the kids in band, so I decided to switch us to the sectional format. The students have been thriving and are experiencing much more success. Tomorrow, I send home probably the fourth revision of our schedule in two weeks (I feel horrible about this), but it is at the request of the students since they are really learning a lot and I am able to better meet their needs. Again, live and learn.
After a particularly hard day, I felt like I wanted to cry; I felt so, so frustrated. I was a failure after being told by so many people that I'll be a superstar music teacher. I also had no idea how I would get through the day (AND the year). I found myself trying to cry, but totally unable to get anything to come out. I also turned to one of my very favorite professor's books, written about the first year of teaching music, for some advice. I was reminded that plenty of people have jobs (call them first jobs if you like - I have no idea if this will be my first job, only job, last job, or first out of many jobs) like this at first, and they get a ton of experience from it. Also, it seemed that several others were just as overwhelmed with their myriad of responsibilities like I was feeling. Finally, I was also reminded that more than anything, students want to experience success. And I was reminded that I should not overshoot a concert. I guess I was just feeling so successful after Glee that I thought I could shoot for the moon, and even if we miss, we will land among the stars. It's not that we can't shoot for the moon, it's just that we have to take our time in doing so. I felt refreshed, and went about helping students find success the next day. The funny thing is, no matter how bad my day or a situation seems to be, I am finding that there is a little voice deep inside that says "try again tomorrow" without fail. And you know what? I reflect, strive to improve, and tomorrow is better. These mistakes aren't fatal; they are essential to my development.
The next day was so much better. I came with a totally different attitude -- instead of being frustrated that my students weren't moving quicker, I came ready to celebrate any success that they might find, and to cultivate a culture of respect in each ensemble. It was tremendously more successful. It also happened that I was being observed (for the third time since the start of the school year!) by the principal. it couldn't have been better! I guess I learned a hard lesson just in time for an observation. :) Afterward, our principal (whom I am very fond of - he's an outstanding administrator!) wrote me a pretty formal letter of recommendation, sharing that he is very proud to be my administrator, and thanking me for my work at the school thus far. He was so incredibly supportive and seemed to be thrilled with the work I was doing. It helped me to see past that week, and end the week much better than it began. I wrote him after thanking him, and telling him how much it meant to me after such a crazy week. He assured me that there would be several more weeks like this, but encouraged me to reach out to my mentor teachers because they are all here to support and guide me. I couldn't feel more lucky. This is a very small school with limited resources, but it is most certainly not lacking in love or support.
I meant to get more done that weekend, but admittedly did enjoy many social interactions on Saturday. These lifted my soul. Even though there was plenty of work to be done, I did need a break. I had an awesome time with my bf on Saturday night! I'm beginning to feel for the first time in our three to four year relationship that we're having a chance to get to know each other in a different way. We've never been around each other for more than three months at a time, so this is nice! There is no rushing to hang out or get things done together. Also, I feel like our love (or at least mine) is maturing. I feel more capable of reaching compromises rather than getting upset or complaining. My mentor teacher gave me good advice about love the other day: she said that no person is perfect, and as we grow older, we grow a little more different. She said that what's lacking from today's relationships is that people are too ready to throw everything away when something isn't perfect, whereas people of her generation would compromise and strive to be understanding. That really blew me away, because I'm often one to want to throw things away (in any situation, not specificailly a relationship) when they don't go well. She reminded me that love takes work and it is not perfect. Also, in honors literature, we are reading To Kill a Mockingbird. Harper Lee implies that maturity is reached when one can walk in another's shoes. By this definition, I am definitely not mature yet, but I want to work toward this, and I feel myself improving, even if only slightly, everday.
I guess I'll just cut to the chase. Things have been better this week. I have come with a new and improved attitude toward the program and things have improved as a result. I have really, really sweet beginners who come in during lunch and WANT to practice! I also have a killer fifth grade hornist with an ear better than any other fifth grader I've ever worked with. There are a few kids who aren't great about showing up, but that is minor compared to the kids who come running in, ready for band at the start of the rehearsal. I guess my other frustrations this week have been...
That my students don't yet understand what a big deal music is, and don't show the respect to the downbeat of rehearsal and practice that I am used to. I would NEVER show up to band late or unprepared, but I must remember -- it took years for me to develop that. I was silly to expect that overnight, especially when that has never been the expectation. I must cultivate this culture. I have found that it has been easy with the young ones (they run around on the playground saying "early is on time, and on time is late!" but more challenging with the older ones. They aren't used to this, but I finally, on Thursday of the next week, feel like they are warming up to me and are kind of excited about band. Tardiness and attendance is still an issue (I have a very talented student who hasn't been to the last four rehearsals beacuse he forgets...I guess that's what I am up against for not having band in the schedule (it is during lunch and after school)), but it is getting better, and honestly, the change will probably take time. I guess I was expecting everyone to be on board right away, and to be able to begin selecting musically appropriate literature and programming themed concerts. It's not that I can't do that, it's just that I have lots of other smaller steps to take before I can worry about buying music that isn't in the method book and getting super creative. Still, I'm determined to include musicality and creativity everyday, and not just once we are more advanced. It's just really challenging. Once this year's beginners get it, they can help to spread the culture next year, and so forth. If I really love this job and the third graders now grow up with this culture, in a few years, things could really be spectacular. I'll just have to see if the pros outweigh the cons. It's looking a lot more like it will now that it's been a few weeks.
Next, my hall is rented out for community use during the nights and weekends. When I return the next morning, it is almost always not as I left it. Last night, the group LEFT THE FANS RUNNING ALL NIGHT, set the alarm incorrectly, moved around my chairs (WITH NAME TAGS ON THEM) and screwed up the seating for beginning orchestra, and flipped my white board around. It took me about twenty minutes, first thing in the morning, to remedy this. Luckily, the parish staff is insanely supporive and filled with wonderful people. They told me to keep them posted and immediately contacted the group to let them know that they can't do this. They let me know that it won't get better overnight, but to keep them informed everytime it happens. It's nice to have folks on your side.
I must say, though - starting orchestra this week was nothing but joyous! The third and fourth graders take to it SO incredibly naturally. They are very, very respectful and attentive, and seriously a joy to work with! The older orchestral beginners are catching on even quicker, and are serving as beautiful role models for the younger ones. They have great ears and enjoyed tuning their instruments together. They are all so respectful, and since there are only four older ones, we get a ton done. I just spent an hour last night writing emails to parents whose children were excelling (per the awesome recommendation of our principal), and the response from the parents has been incredibly encouraging. So many of my students are off to great start that I can't help but feel happy. My two advanced strings players are already halfway through a duet, too! There is much, much work to be done here, but the students are receptive and a lot of fun to work with. It's not so much that I need to lower my standards as it is that I need to remember that they are seeking success and gently raise my musical standards for them (and NOT overprogram like I was about to)as time goes on. I think that we will have to aim for easier music this year (at least for the advanced students - the beginners will progress normally), but we will aim to do a really, really good job on it.
I've been conducting the eighth graders on their annual church song, and they present their gift of praise tomorrow in mass. I am also playing the portions of the mass on piano for the first time tomorrow, and am both nervous and really excited! At first, the eighth graders were really difficult to work with as a group - some of them (a very select few) were screwing around and not focusing, but today was an entirely different story - they were awesome, super focused, and very respectful. I finally feel like I'm building a solid relationship with them, which will hopefully pay off when I have to solo teach them. I really feel like I'm bonding with the honors literature students, so that helps a lot too. I had one incidient with a student being disrespectful that I can't disclose here, but let's just say that this student in some ways wasn't to blame, and it was handled and is now not an issue. Things are getting better, and I'm beginning to feel more like I'm part of campus life.
On that note, my fellow faculty members are insanely supportive. They are so, so kind, and I feel like everybody is looking out for me and asing me how I'm doing. Really, the love is all around. I couldn't feel more blessed!
Finally, I went back to the former Honolulu Community Concert Band (now the Honolulu Wind Ensemble) this week, despite being exhausted from work, and it was the best thing I could've done for myself! I felt very warmly welcomed back, and even thoguh my endurance was gone after two seconds, it was awesome to play again. The people there are so wonderful, and I truly, truly missed playing horn. I probably won't be studying privately again for a while, but it's OK because my work is cut out for me. No matter how tired I am, I will make it a point to go to rehearsal. I'm beginning to see the importance of being an artist educator, and not a has-been.
OK, forreal, one final thing. I've found that I'm so busy that I have to schedule time in to use the bathroom and drink water, or I'll forget to do it. Weird, huh? Yeah, way weird. Until next time!
Friday, August 17, 2012
Some Nights
It seems that the better part of a month has come and gone since my last post. Let's play catch-up:
Parents left to help my west coast grandma move to the east coast
Friends left. :(
Lonely Dana.
Busy Dana. BUSY BUSY BUSY.
General music. Third and fifth grade classes are stinkin' adorable.
Honors Literature gets rollin'. Did I mention that this is my favorite class, yet it has little to do with music? Last week, we compared Fun.'s Some Nights to The Chocolate War. Amazing!
Recruitment! Play instrument demos in every general music class for a week. Everyone seems to want to join band or orchestra.
Inventory what's in the closet (yes, I don't quite have a classroom - I operate out of the school's large assembly hall. We keep our music supplies in a large closet. The closet is insanely packed until rented instruments go out to students.)
Make some great finds - killer Orff instruments, fifty-plus band and orchestra instruments in pretty good shape for a small school. Not bad!
Made a database on Bento, a product by FileMaker. Looks pretty, but very time consuming.
Start practicing piano like a mofo. Goal: play the mass for our next school mass, in less than a month. This includes the holy, memorial acclimation, doxology, great amen, yes lord, alleluia, lamb of God. Practice everyday, slowly, hands separately, hands together, working from the end to the beginning. Practicing like I'm a beginner again (cause I am), without preconceived notions like "I should just be able to do this already," and "this is taking too long." it comes back. Bit by bit, I speed up. I can play the piano again! Hiccups here and there. Go back to a slower speed. Practice more. I forgot how much I enjoyed the piano. Can't wait to begin lessons. :)
Work with some students for a small performance at a weekend event celebrating the Parish's 50th anniversary. They did great! Very proud of them.
Mom and dad are back. Hooray! No more waking up at 4am to feed the cat (she is nearly 17, so we spoil her and feed her when she likes to be fed...several times a day, beginning at 4am).
Keeping up a house is hard work. Remind me to not buy a large house, ever.
Still have not thanked people on Facebook for the birthday wishes...this upcoming weekend, I promise!
Rental forms went out. Not many came back. I thought that for sure, we would recruit more than we had instruments for. I guess it's easy to be interested, but when forms go home, a commitment has to be made, and payment must come in, it's a different story.
Up until this point, it's been hunky-dory. I've had no complaints whatsoever. Everything was playing out according to the plans that I create in the wildest parts of my imagination.
Don't get me wrong, things are good. I love my new job more than I ever could've imagined when I signed the contract. Living at home is great. I'm saving money. Beginning to work out again - finally. Becoming a pianist more and more each day. About to begin practicing horn again. I guess, for the first time, I hit a wall, and it was perhaps the first bit of frustration I've felt in several months.
Let me explain. Starting a new job isn't easy. It takes a while, but it seems that everywhere I go, I meet amazing people, find my niche, and have no problem loving and being loved. Teaching summer school was easy because I had worked there as an aide for three summers. I did run into some trouble starting the glee class because we almost didn't get enough students to run the class, and we did not nearly get enough students to even offer a middle school version. I think it's safe to say that the concert and the happiness and success experienced by the students will fix that issue next year. I have faith that next year, glee will run, and with no shortage of students. I think that I need to work really hard this year so that the same thing happens next year with band and orchestra. Being a young, new teacher doesn't even come close to the loyalty the students have to their favorite teachers. At the first day welcome back assembly, I noticed that the veteran teachers were cheered for, celebrated, and welcomed eagerly by students. Again, I'm not in this profession for an ego boost - I have friends who mean more to me than I could ever tell them, and that's enough - but let's just say that I noticed that I was new. Just like going away to college was a difficult, homesick transition for me, the transition into being a full time teacher will take a while. It won't be overnight, but I have faith that one day, I'm going to wake up and not feel like the new teacher anymore. Things will feel like home.
“One never reaches home,' she said. 'But where paths that have an affinity for each other intersect, the whole world looks like home, for a time.” - Hermann Hesse, Demian
Before that can happen, I have to pay my dues.
It took a week or two, but it was really nice to have several teachers come up to me and tell me that either they have been impressed thus far, or that their students' parents have been emailing them, saying that their kids came home, excited about their new music teacher. In a world where what we do has to please students, parents, colleagues, administrators, and ourselves, that was a huge, welcomed sigh of relief. Now, kids say "hi" to me on the playground, which is really cool! I've seen a number of my students at Starbucks, or simply around Kailua, and they are all really friendly and stop to chat for a bit. I think things are a little less lonely in that sense, although every now and then, I realize that I'm not in college anymore, and long for carefree nights filled with baked goods and duck farts. For example, today begins a four day weekend. I woke up not knowing what to do with myself. Since I'm back home, I obviously know people and have friends, but I don't have that trusty ol' group of bffs like I did in Ithaca. There could never be a dull moment living in 18-07, and to be honest, I long for that. I nipped some boredom in the bud the other day by getting shave ice with my parents after work, but there comes a time when I'm all caught up on work and am ready for a break, and I don't have any live-in friends with whom I can bake some cookies or watch big bang theory and eat delivery. I'm sure that this will all settle into place before I know it, but for now, I'm beginning to notice that things are different.
On the other hand, I am both living and working in my hometown. I was worried about this, because I thought I would feel trapped and bored, like I've Met my lifetime quota for living in Kailua. However, it feels totally different. For one, I feel like I'm on display - if I jaywalk or run across a crosswalk at the last minute, or make an asshole move in traffic, one of my students, co-workers, or students’ parents could easily witness this. This has caused me to be even more scrupulous than I usually am, and I kind of like it. It seems like everytime I go out, I do run into a student. Also, riding the bus has been great - I never really appreciated Hawaii's bus system. I've so far been able to finagle it so that I get on a bus and get dropped off across the street from my house. Pretty convenient, huh? There's no need to get a car right away, and I'm enjoying riding my bike when the weather is nice (95% of the time).
This has been a disgusting mass of information to make up for my lack of blogging, but hopefully it allows the 2-3 readers I have a glimpse into what's been going on. I'll end with a few announcements:
Just made my first student loan payment - it was automatically debited from my account. Yay?
Those who have recently obtained jobs and might be feeling a little lonely or overwhelmed, as I am sometimes feeling - let's keep in touch, stick together, and share our experiences. I am very, very fortunate to be working side-by-side with my former music teacher, who is helping me make the transition into the profession as she makes her transition into retirement. I haven't been too lonely, but on the days when she isn't there, I can see how this would be a lonely, tiring, and demanding job. Don't get me wrong - it's been tremendously rewarding and stimulating, even thus far - it's just that we were just big fish in a medium-sized pond, and we are now little fish, regardless of the size of the pond. We're at the bottom of the pay scale - the first to go in the event of budget cuts, the newest, youngest faculty members. It's quite a transition, but thankfully we have each other. Here's to a great first year! Don't be afraid to pick up the phone and call after a long, trying day.
My students are teaching me more than they realize; I'm feeling totally stimulated and artistically fulfilled preparing lessons for them and seeing them make important connections. This is especially true in the literature class. It's a little harder to see in general music right now, since most of what we are doing is preparing for our upcoming school mass, but improvising with the pentatonic scale with eighth grade last week was pretty neat. Hopefully band and orchestra provide even more of a creative outlet to all involved. I can see how one day, I might choose to specialize a little more, but for now, this jack of all trades (master of none) deal is pretty fun.
Finally - thanks to being year round, I have a two week fall and spring break (and a three week winter break, but I'm probably staying home for that). My parents have travel vouchers to use, and I want to visit friends, so I'm thinking that I'm going to spend a couple days in SF, a day in East Lansing, several days in NYC, a few days in Maryland to visit family, and a few days in Ithaca to see old friends and have some fun. Let me know if you'll be around - let's meet up, and thank you, Catholic Schools, for the sick-nasty break, even if it means a short summer! Yahooooooooo!
Parents left to help my west coast grandma move to the east coast
Friends left. :(
Lonely Dana.
Busy Dana. BUSY BUSY BUSY.
General music. Third and fifth grade classes are stinkin' adorable.
Honors Literature gets rollin'. Did I mention that this is my favorite class, yet it has little to do with music? Last week, we compared Fun.'s Some Nights to The Chocolate War. Amazing!
Recruitment! Play instrument demos in every general music class for a week. Everyone seems to want to join band or orchestra.
Inventory what's in the closet (yes, I don't quite have a classroom - I operate out of the school's large assembly hall. We keep our music supplies in a large closet. The closet is insanely packed until rented instruments go out to students.)
Make some great finds - killer Orff instruments, fifty-plus band and orchestra instruments in pretty good shape for a small school. Not bad!
Made a database on Bento, a product by FileMaker. Looks pretty, but very time consuming.
Start practicing piano like a mofo. Goal: play the mass for our next school mass, in less than a month. This includes the holy, memorial acclimation, doxology, great amen, yes lord, alleluia, lamb of God. Practice everyday, slowly, hands separately, hands together, working from the end to the beginning. Practicing like I'm a beginner again (cause I am), without preconceived notions like "I should just be able to do this already," and "this is taking too long." it comes back. Bit by bit, I speed up. I can play the piano again! Hiccups here and there. Go back to a slower speed. Practice more. I forgot how much I enjoyed the piano. Can't wait to begin lessons. :)
Work with some students for a small performance at a weekend event celebrating the Parish's 50th anniversary. They did great! Very proud of them.
Mom and dad are back. Hooray! No more waking up at 4am to feed the cat (she is nearly 17, so we spoil her and feed her when she likes to be fed...several times a day, beginning at 4am).
Keeping up a house is hard work. Remind me to not buy a large house, ever.
Still have not thanked people on Facebook for the birthday wishes...this upcoming weekend, I promise!
Rental forms went out. Not many came back. I thought that for sure, we would recruit more than we had instruments for. I guess it's easy to be interested, but when forms go home, a commitment has to be made, and payment must come in, it's a different story.
Up until this point, it's been hunky-dory. I've had no complaints whatsoever. Everything was playing out according to the plans that I create in the wildest parts of my imagination.
Don't get me wrong, things are good. I love my new job more than I ever could've imagined when I signed the contract. Living at home is great. I'm saving money. Beginning to work out again - finally. Becoming a pianist more and more each day. About to begin practicing horn again. I guess, for the first time, I hit a wall, and it was perhaps the first bit of frustration I've felt in several months.
Let me explain. Starting a new job isn't easy. It takes a while, but it seems that everywhere I go, I meet amazing people, find my niche, and have no problem loving and being loved. Teaching summer school was easy because I had worked there as an aide for three summers. I did run into some trouble starting the glee class because we almost didn't get enough students to run the class, and we did not nearly get enough students to even offer a middle school version. I think it's safe to say that the concert and the happiness and success experienced by the students will fix that issue next year. I have faith that next year, glee will run, and with no shortage of students. I think that I need to work really hard this year so that the same thing happens next year with band and orchestra. Being a young, new teacher doesn't even come close to the loyalty the students have to their favorite teachers. At the first day welcome back assembly, I noticed that the veteran teachers were cheered for, celebrated, and welcomed eagerly by students. Again, I'm not in this profession for an ego boost - I have friends who mean more to me than I could ever tell them, and that's enough - but let's just say that I noticed that I was new. Just like going away to college was a difficult, homesick transition for me, the transition into being a full time teacher will take a while. It won't be overnight, but I have faith that one day, I'm going to wake up and not feel like the new teacher anymore. Things will feel like home.
“One never reaches home,' she said. 'But where paths that have an affinity for each other intersect, the whole world looks like home, for a time.” - Hermann Hesse, Demian
Before that can happen, I have to pay my dues.
It took a week or two, but it was really nice to have several teachers come up to me and tell me that either they have been impressed thus far, or that their students' parents have been emailing them, saying that their kids came home, excited about their new music teacher. In a world where what we do has to please students, parents, colleagues, administrators, and ourselves, that was a huge, welcomed sigh of relief. Now, kids say "hi" to me on the playground, which is really cool! I've seen a number of my students at Starbucks, or simply around Kailua, and they are all really friendly and stop to chat for a bit. I think things are a little less lonely in that sense, although every now and then, I realize that I'm not in college anymore, and long for carefree nights filled with baked goods and duck farts. For example, today begins a four day weekend. I woke up not knowing what to do with myself. Since I'm back home, I obviously know people and have friends, but I don't have that trusty ol' group of bffs like I did in Ithaca. There could never be a dull moment living in 18-07, and to be honest, I long for that. I nipped some boredom in the bud the other day by getting shave ice with my parents after work, but there comes a time when I'm all caught up on work and am ready for a break, and I don't have any live-in friends with whom I can bake some cookies or watch big bang theory and eat delivery. I'm sure that this will all settle into place before I know it, but for now, I'm beginning to notice that things are different.
On the other hand, I am both living and working in my hometown. I was worried about this, because I thought I would feel trapped and bored, like I've Met my lifetime quota for living in Kailua. However, it feels totally different. For one, I feel like I'm on display - if I jaywalk or run across a crosswalk at the last minute, or make an asshole move in traffic, one of my students, co-workers, or students’ parents could easily witness this. This has caused me to be even more scrupulous than I usually am, and I kind of like it. It seems like everytime I go out, I do run into a student. Also, riding the bus has been great - I never really appreciated Hawaii's bus system. I've so far been able to finagle it so that I get on a bus and get dropped off across the street from my house. Pretty convenient, huh? There's no need to get a car right away, and I'm enjoying riding my bike when the weather is nice (95% of the time).
This has been a disgusting mass of information to make up for my lack of blogging, but hopefully it allows the 2-3 readers I have a glimpse into what's been going on. I'll end with a few announcements:
Just made my first student loan payment - it was automatically debited from my account. Yay?
Those who have recently obtained jobs and might be feeling a little lonely or overwhelmed, as I am sometimes feeling - let's keep in touch, stick together, and share our experiences. I am very, very fortunate to be working side-by-side with my former music teacher, who is helping me make the transition into the profession as she makes her transition into retirement. I haven't been too lonely, but on the days when she isn't there, I can see how this would be a lonely, tiring, and demanding job. Don't get me wrong - it's been tremendously rewarding and stimulating, even thus far - it's just that we were just big fish in a medium-sized pond, and we are now little fish, regardless of the size of the pond. We're at the bottom of the pay scale - the first to go in the event of budget cuts, the newest, youngest faculty members. It's quite a transition, but thankfully we have each other. Here's to a great first year! Don't be afraid to pick up the phone and call after a long, trying day.
My students are teaching me more than they realize; I'm feeling totally stimulated and artistically fulfilled preparing lessons for them and seeing them make important connections. This is especially true in the literature class. It's a little harder to see in general music right now, since most of what we are doing is preparing for our upcoming school mass, but improvising with the pentatonic scale with eighth grade last week was pretty neat. Hopefully band and orchestra provide even more of a creative outlet to all involved. I can see how one day, I might choose to specialize a little more, but for now, this jack of all trades (master of none) deal is pretty fun.
Finally - thanks to being year round, I have a two week fall and spring break (and a three week winter break, but I'm probably staying home for that). My parents have travel vouchers to use, and I want to visit friends, so I'm thinking that I'm going to spend a couple days in SF, a day in East Lansing, several days in NYC, a few days in Maryland to visit family, and a few days in Ithaca to see old friends and have some fun. Let me know if you'll be around - let's meet up, and thank you, Catholic Schools, for the sick-nasty break, even if it means a short summer! Yahooooooooo!
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