Hello from the second year of teaching! I never thought this day would come, but I must say, it's awesome to be back. Our whole faculty and student body has been transformed; we ended the school year at a low point, and everyone has returned with a skip in their step. We have several new faculty members - all fantastic and super highly qualified - and an amazing new principal. Her leadership is strong all while being extremely positive and supportive. We are so, so, super excited!
When I last left off, all I wanted was to be a solely-music teacher. I wanted a manageable, reasonable schedule, and the opportunity to focus on band and orchestra. Ask and you shall receive - the past principal was kind enough to give me what I asked for, and I took on general music from ELC-8, adding a few more sections of music in the place of honors literature. However, when I looked at it, I realized how light it looked. As you must know, I'm the type of person who does better with more on her plate. First thing Monday morning, I realized just how much I missed morning honors literature. The recent graduates came by and told it to me like it was - that I was an idiot for giving up that class and they lovingly told me just how much that class meant to them. I realized that so much of the success and luck I had with that class was because I spent a ton of time with half of them in honors lit. Without that, I would've been another specialist and getting to know them would've taken much longer and been more difficult, no doubt.
The eighth grade teacher, a dear friend whom I respect so much, listened to my plight and together we came up with a workable solution to get me back to teaching literature without the craziness that came with teaching so many students at such an accelerated pace. I felt so much better and excited to get to know the new eighth grade class in a variety of ways.
Also, a few small moments have taught me how badly I sucked at teaching music my first year. Hopefully the plans I came up with for this year will provide the students with a much more solid foundation. There was a lot of good in my first year, and a lot of failings as well. My goal this year is not to expand much or to do things bigger, but to do them better. Quality over quantity.
Also also, I stayed at work until 6:30pm tonight. I am much more an early-riser than a night-owl, so staying late usually doesn't work for me. However, I wanted to finish my to-do list and leave work at work. I left last, but came home relaxed cause work was done. That might have to be a new habit. Any personal habits I had last year bit it due to how crazy things seemed. I plan to focus on keeping workout habits, healthy eating habits, and personal relaxation in the mix as well. If I could teach very well and still find a balance between work and life, I will be satisfied.
Here's to the start of year two. And changing the name of my blog. :)
Monday, July 29, 2013
Monday, June 10, 2013
The Song is Over
Welp, here I am, writing a blog post from the other side of the finish line of my first year of teaching. I'm not sure what the date is, I haven't done anything productive today, and I have not a care in the world. The craziest thing is that I seriously never thought I would feel this way or even willingly sign up for another year of teaching. However, the end of the first year was completely anticlimactic, and it most certainly wasn't an end, but rather a beginning to the rest of my life. Let's recap, shall we?
The last two months were insane. I had fun chairing the Beginning Honor Band, which is probably the easiest, most chill event one can chair, but it allowed me to meet several awesome people and test my organizational skills. Chris and I spent a whirlwind 48 hours on the Big Island and loved every second of it! Things got pretty rocky at school with some controversial comings and goings. Nothing to do with me, but it was rough for a while. Concert prep pulled together and it was a fantastic night, but not nearly as adrenaline-laden as the first concert. Graduation, the eighth grade song, the seventh grade song and mass, came and went. I was offered a position at another school. I was offered two more positions at other schools. I took a good long look at what I was doing with my life and what I wanted, and it dawned on me: I'm happy! There was no reason to change positions. I thought I would run away kicking and screaming if I ever got the chance, and when I got several chances, realized that I have built a home and have big plans for next year.
I must say: I'm glad I'm taking the month of June off to relax and prep - I have so many ideas for next year after surviving this one that I'm genuinely excited to spend time brainstorming and planning for next year. I have never appreciated a summer so much, and am able to be productive while still relaxing, strengthening friendships, building and enjoying a fantastic relationship, and working out! I'm really starting to think that the 2013 Honolulu Marathon is going to happen. I credit so much of my motivation and results to Chris showing me that you can always go a little harder and run a little longer. I've even registered for my first triathalon!
As far as being stoked for next year goes, I'm proud of what I've started and know exactly what I need to do to improve it without feeling stressed or anxious. I also was made to feel extremely valued by the administration and the faculty for the work I've done this year and was given the opportunity to make my schedule look the way I want. I loved every second of Honors Literature, but it added hours upon hours of prep, correcting, and reading every week, so I won't be teaching it next year. I'm so excited about finally being strictly a music teacher and to have the beginnings of a real program. I'm also very, very proud of the graduating class and already miss those kids a ton. They have taught me so much and will always be my first class. They're off to great things and I'm humbled that I could play a small role in their lives.
Ah, summer. Ah, first year - complete! I won't be changing the name of this blog anytime soon, but I think I will refocus it to chronicle the unique experience of teaching at a small school. I must admit - this year was frickin' nuts, but it taught me so much, whether I was ready to learn it or not. I'm no longer timid and insecure, and I'm suuuuuper excited for what lies ahead. Now, it's time for me to sit back, relax, and enjoy summer. Cheers!
The last two months were insane. I had fun chairing the Beginning Honor Band, which is probably the easiest, most chill event one can chair, but it allowed me to meet several awesome people and test my organizational skills. Chris and I spent a whirlwind 48 hours on the Big Island and loved every second of it! Things got pretty rocky at school with some controversial comings and goings. Nothing to do with me, but it was rough for a while. Concert prep pulled together and it was a fantastic night, but not nearly as adrenaline-laden as the first concert. Graduation, the eighth grade song, the seventh grade song and mass, came and went. I was offered a position at another school. I was offered two more positions at other schools. I took a good long look at what I was doing with my life and what I wanted, and it dawned on me: I'm happy! There was no reason to change positions. I thought I would run away kicking and screaming if I ever got the chance, and when I got several chances, realized that I have built a home and have big plans for next year.
I must say: I'm glad I'm taking the month of June off to relax and prep - I have so many ideas for next year after surviving this one that I'm genuinely excited to spend time brainstorming and planning for next year. I have never appreciated a summer so much, and am able to be productive while still relaxing, strengthening friendships, building and enjoying a fantastic relationship, and working out! I'm really starting to think that the 2013 Honolulu Marathon is going to happen. I credit so much of my motivation and results to Chris showing me that you can always go a little harder and run a little longer. I've even registered for my first triathalon!
As far as being stoked for next year goes, I'm proud of what I've started and know exactly what I need to do to improve it without feeling stressed or anxious. I also was made to feel extremely valued by the administration and the faculty for the work I've done this year and was given the opportunity to make my schedule look the way I want. I loved every second of Honors Literature, but it added hours upon hours of prep, correcting, and reading every week, so I won't be teaching it next year. I'm so excited about finally being strictly a music teacher and to have the beginnings of a real program. I'm also very, very proud of the graduating class and already miss those kids a ton. They have taught me so much and will always be my first class. They're off to great things and I'm humbled that I could play a small role in their lives.
Ah, summer. Ah, first year - complete! I won't be changing the name of this blog anytime soon, but I think I will refocus it to chronicle the unique experience of teaching at a small school. I must admit - this year was frickin' nuts, but it taught me so much, whether I was ready to learn it or not. I'm no longer timid and insecure, and I'm suuuuuper excited for what lies ahead. Now, it's time for me to sit back, relax, and enjoy summer. Cheers!
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Where has the time gone?
Wowzers, I started writing a cathartic post because I was feeling really overwhelmed, but I feel better now. Good thing - I forgot to save my draft!
Here's a summary of the last month or two:
Pure bliss. Fiji was incredible. I decided that after one international trip, I probably don't need another this summer! If the price is right, I'll head to NY to volunteer and meet up with some friends. If not, I have big plans to get into the best shape of my life, to possibly learn to scuba, and to hit up as many music teachers as possible to shadow them, learn from them, and work toward becoming my personal best and improving all of the terrible habits I picked up in this first year.
Speaking of those bad habits, I was feeling pretty down about what a shitty, inexperienced, fail of a director I am. Not looking for sympathy, so don't respond with that; it just hit me how many things I did failed or weren't well planned. None of it was intentional, but I guess you live and learn. I was really overwhelmed by it all, but a talk with Chris helped to put it into perspective.
This is the busiest I have ever been in my life. There were four days last quarter where I felt I wasn't doing enough and needed to contribute to the school, the community, and my friends more. I took on as much as possible. I'm DYING now but it will all be over in a month, more or less. I'll definitely be smarter with my time next year. I'm already overloaded as is - no need to be ridiculous about it. I'm sure that even though I'll be more familiar with the routine and my goals, grad school apps will throw a wrench into everything. Gotta start researching UM, IC, and FSU this summer!
Weekends have been amazing, as was my first-ever military function, aside from a JROTC function in HS. I never ever thought I'd be attending a military event, but I'm very glad I did - what a riot! It doesn't hurt that an incredible guy took me, either. ;)
Feeling a lot more satisfied and optimistic than a few days ago. Final stretch. Caffeine. Preparation. Less sleep. Cat pictures. Let's do this!
Here's a summary of the last month or two:
Pure bliss. Fiji was incredible. I decided that after one international trip, I probably don't need another this summer! If the price is right, I'll head to NY to volunteer and meet up with some friends. If not, I have big plans to get into the best shape of my life, to possibly learn to scuba, and to hit up as many music teachers as possible to shadow them, learn from them, and work toward becoming my personal best and improving all of the terrible habits I picked up in this first year.
Speaking of those bad habits, I was feeling pretty down about what a shitty, inexperienced, fail of a director I am. Not looking for sympathy, so don't respond with that; it just hit me how many things I did failed or weren't well planned. None of it was intentional, but I guess you live and learn. I was really overwhelmed by it all, but a talk with Chris helped to put it into perspective.
This is the busiest I have ever been in my life. There were four days last quarter where I felt I wasn't doing enough and needed to contribute to the school, the community, and my friends more. I took on as much as possible. I'm DYING now but it will all be over in a month, more or less. I'll definitely be smarter with my time next year. I'm already overloaded as is - no need to be ridiculous about it. I'm sure that even though I'll be more familiar with the routine and my goals, grad school apps will throw a wrench into everything. Gotta start researching UM, IC, and FSU this summer!
Weekends have been amazing, as was my first-ever military function, aside from a JROTC function in HS. I never ever thought I'd be attending a military event, but I'm very glad I did - what a riot! It doesn't hurt that an incredible guy took me, either. ;)
Feeling a lot more satisfied and optimistic than a few days ago. Final stretch. Caffeine. Preparation. Less sleep. Cat pictures. Let's do this!
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
So much has changed
Having just finished up a few emails to friends today, I realized that so much has changed in my life in the past year. If we haven't spoken in a few months, chances are I am tremendously different. I took my first sick day today, so I had plenty of time to catch up on grading and prep (woohoo!), but I also had time to rest, cook, and contemplate. Here's the short of it, simply to contrast how different things are. In this case, different is good.
Work is better! I felt like the first semester knocked me down and constantly kicked me where it hurt. I couldn't shake the feeling of being a failure, and I was constantly stressed and anxious, and very unhappy. This quarter is great! I've found a groove, but of course, still have much to learn. I'm content with the pace at which things are unfolding. If anything, third quarter is dragging on, and I feel like I have too much time! hah.
Just put down money to hold an incoming 2013 Nissan Leaf! I seriously did not think I'd be getting a car this year, but one incident in particular, combined with the realization that having my own reliable transportation is a mature investment, led me to explore my options. I really wanted to stay at home and sock away mondo bucks, but a car, and a sensible one at that, is worth less in the bank. Used cars down here aren't cheap, and are potentially unreliable. New cars are way beyond what I can afford. It just so happens that Nissan is pushing the Leaf due not selling nearly as much as they need to in order to justify how much they spent in production. I'm getting the very basic, no-frills model. What's the damage? 2K down and about $250 a month after taxes and fees. I can do that, even on a Catholic school teacher's salary! Insurance might be a little steep since I'm young, but even then, it won't be too bad. Also, no gas bill and several free charging stations around town, combined with free parking make it a great choice for Hawaii. The one-hundred mile range won't be a problem, at least not here. Should I move in the next three years, I can either take it with me, since it's leased through Nissan, or transfer the lease to my parents. Can't wait to get it in my hands and get to learn the car better!
The most enjoyable change has been getting to know a wonderful man. I feel so fortunate, and for lack of a better word, content. I'm usually over-thinking/over-analyzing/worrying about things, but I haven't done any of that in recent memory. We've been having so much fun exploring town and getting to know each other, and I feel very comfortable with it all. That's simply all that needs to be said - life is good, and I look forward to taking it as it comes.
It's also dawned on me that I haven't been anxious/self-deprecating/insecure in a long time. I wonder if my college friends or others from the past ran into me, if they would pick up on that. Ain't nobody got time fo' dat shit! Bahahahahahahahaha.
Until next time, peace out! It's almost spring break - woot! :)
Work is better! I felt like the first semester knocked me down and constantly kicked me where it hurt. I couldn't shake the feeling of being a failure, and I was constantly stressed and anxious, and very unhappy. This quarter is great! I've found a groove, but of course, still have much to learn. I'm content with the pace at which things are unfolding. If anything, third quarter is dragging on, and I feel like I have too much time! hah.
Just put down money to hold an incoming 2013 Nissan Leaf! I seriously did not think I'd be getting a car this year, but one incident in particular, combined with the realization that having my own reliable transportation is a mature investment, led me to explore my options. I really wanted to stay at home and sock away mondo bucks, but a car, and a sensible one at that, is worth less in the bank. Used cars down here aren't cheap, and are potentially unreliable. New cars are way beyond what I can afford. It just so happens that Nissan is pushing the Leaf due not selling nearly as much as they need to in order to justify how much they spent in production. I'm getting the very basic, no-frills model. What's the damage? 2K down and about $250 a month after taxes and fees. I can do that, even on a Catholic school teacher's salary! Insurance might be a little steep since I'm young, but even then, it won't be too bad. Also, no gas bill and several free charging stations around town, combined with free parking make it a great choice for Hawaii. The one-hundred mile range won't be a problem, at least not here. Should I move in the next three years, I can either take it with me, since it's leased through Nissan, or transfer the lease to my parents. Can't wait to get it in my hands and get to learn the car better!
The most enjoyable change has been getting to know a wonderful man. I feel so fortunate, and for lack of a better word, content. I'm usually over-thinking/over-analyzing/worrying about things, but I haven't done any of that in recent memory. We've been having so much fun exploring town and getting to know each other, and I feel very comfortable with it all. That's simply all that needs to be said - life is good, and I look forward to taking it as it comes.
It's also dawned on me that I haven't been anxious/self-deprecating/insecure in a long time. I wonder if my college friends or others from the past ran into me, if they would pick up on that. Ain't nobody got time fo' dat shit! Bahahahahahahahaha.
Until next time, peace out! It's almost spring break - woot! :)
Thursday, January 24, 2013
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?
This will be relatively brief, way too happy, and much like my September post - for my posterity, because I seriously can't believe how I feel.
I am the happiest I have ever been. Seriously. This will also focus on me A LOT, because it's been a while since I thought about myself and what I would really like to do with my life.
I remember only two months ago feeling awful anxiety and dread every morning. I felt like I wasn't doing what I wanted to do, I felt like I didn't belong, and I was outrageously unhappy. I longed for junior year, when I felt like everything was awesome - it wasn't perfect, but I was at an exciting time in my journey. I was progressing and learning SO much every day. Every moment was a learning experience.
Well, folks, now is one of those times! Not only have I felt very little anxiety, but I frickin' love work everyday. The kids are sounding so amazing and they come in all the time to practice - even when they don't have to! We're blowing through rep compared to last semester, and picking high-quality rep was the best thing I could've done - they're eating it up! I will need to put out another $300 before the end of the semester to make sure we have enough rep for the concert (I thought I overshot the program, but it turns out that the rep I picked for a whole semester will be done in less than a quarter). General music is going well and the kids are very well behaved and quite engaged. My own classroom management and sense of comfort has improved greatly - I almost never raise my voice anymore (except when trying to corral 20 third graders at a dress rehearsal - working on that one!), and I am much more organized than last semester. I still can improve a lot here, but I am finding that the more organized I can be, the easier my life will be. I feel like this is always the case, though - by the time I figure something out, it's time to move on.
Also, some very exciting opportunities have recently come my way. Can't share now, but I never thought I'd experience one of them at this age, if ever. Working on planning a trip to Samoa with Jan this spring break, and looking at international travel and volunteer for this summer. I'll even be back in time to teach a small glee class again!
Socially, I felt I wasn't making friends a few months ago. It was horribly depressing, being the social creature that I am. I am pleased to have reconnected with or met wonderful new people who are weaving into the fabric of my life (vomittttt, I know). I went to my first improv class last night, and enjoyed it immensely despite sucking. The biggest social news, however, is that I am dating, for the first time in my life. Not relationship-ing...dating. It turns out that this is what my parents wanted for me all along - to not tie myself down and commit so seriously, so young. I wasn't interested in it until very recently, but having a date on Friday night, and another one (WITH ANOTHER GUY) on Saturday morning is pretty sweet. Casually dating educated, handsome, polite men? I'm down.
It's not time to begin this yet, but I'll get on grad school apps in a few months. I am excited about what's next, but am mindfully enjoying what's going on now. Did I mention that work is great? Third quarter is my favorite.
I've spoken with a few college friends recently. It seems that what I was strongly feeling in October had manifested in most of our lives in one way or another. This isn't exactly joyous news, but it means we're having similar growing pains no matter what we're doing or who we are. We will all be stronger for it, and I can't wait to see everyone again. If you're reading this, I miss you all so, so much. Thank you for helping me out of my self-deprecating shell. :)
Oh yeah...I've started drinking beer...and I like a few varieties!
That's enough for now. I'll never sing my praises again, but for now, I am unexpectedly and whole-heartedly happy.
I am the happiest I have ever been. Seriously. This will also focus on me A LOT, because it's been a while since I thought about myself and what I would really like to do with my life.
I remember only two months ago feeling awful anxiety and dread every morning. I felt like I wasn't doing what I wanted to do, I felt like I didn't belong, and I was outrageously unhappy. I longed for junior year, when I felt like everything was awesome - it wasn't perfect, but I was at an exciting time in my journey. I was progressing and learning SO much every day. Every moment was a learning experience.
Well, folks, now is one of those times! Not only have I felt very little anxiety, but I frickin' love work everyday. The kids are sounding so amazing and they come in all the time to practice - even when they don't have to! We're blowing through rep compared to last semester, and picking high-quality rep was the best thing I could've done - they're eating it up! I will need to put out another $300 before the end of the semester to make sure we have enough rep for the concert (I thought I overshot the program, but it turns out that the rep I picked for a whole semester will be done in less than a quarter). General music is going well and the kids are very well behaved and quite engaged. My own classroom management and sense of comfort has improved greatly - I almost never raise my voice anymore (except when trying to corral 20 third graders at a dress rehearsal - working on that one!), and I am much more organized than last semester. I still can improve a lot here, but I am finding that the more organized I can be, the easier my life will be. I feel like this is always the case, though - by the time I figure something out, it's time to move on.
Also, some very exciting opportunities have recently come my way. Can't share now, but I never thought I'd experience one of them at this age, if ever. Working on planning a trip to Samoa with Jan this spring break, and looking at international travel and volunteer for this summer. I'll even be back in time to teach a small glee class again!
Socially, I felt I wasn't making friends a few months ago. It was horribly depressing, being the social creature that I am. I am pleased to have reconnected with or met wonderful new people who are weaving into the fabric of my life (vomittttt, I know). I went to my first improv class last night, and enjoyed it immensely despite sucking. The biggest social news, however, is that I am dating, for the first time in my life. Not relationship-ing...dating. It turns out that this is what my parents wanted for me all along - to not tie myself down and commit so seriously, so young. I wasn't interested in it until very recently, but having a date on Friday night, and another one (WITH ANOTHER GUY) on Saturday morning is pretty sweet. Casually dating educated, handsome, polite men? I'm down.
It's not time to begin this yet, but I'll get on grad school apps in a few months. I am excited about what's next, but am mindfully enjoying what's going on now. Did I mention that work is great? Third quarter is my favorite.
I've spoken with a few college friends recently. It seems that what I was strongly feeling in October had manifested in most of our lives in one way or another. This isn't exactly joyous news, but it means we're having similar growing pains no matter what we're doing or who we are. We will all be stronger for it, and I can't wait to see everyone again. If you're reading this, I miss you all so, so much. Thank you for helping me out of my self-deprecating shell. :)
Oh yeah...I've started drinking beer...and I like a few varieties!
That's enough for now. I'll never sing my praises again, but for now, I am unexpectedly and whole-heartedly happy.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
A brief post, packed with humility and joy.
Just a quick update: it is the new year, and I'm not sure that I have ever been this happy, hopeful, and at-peace with myself.
I just met with the principal about my new schedule. I tried to get 90% of my prep work done before this meeting because I was sure that my new full-time schedule, which we had been discussing for months, would involve plenty of math and other random duties to make me full-time, since music has not been considered a full-time responsibility for over a decade.
Here's the reader's digest version: no math, bi-weekly second grade general added (from the elem. music specialist's load), daily recess duty, and giant blocks of time everyday for me to collaborate with other teachers, focus on building te program, and spend time in different classes expanding my music projects.
Excuse me, did I just die and go to heaven?
Words can't express how humbled and honored I feel. During a time when our school can use all the extra help I can get, I get to focus on music and work toward expanding the program. I feel totally honored with this responsibility and will do my damnedest to make the most of this opportunity. I left the semester feeling spread very thin, and sick knowing that it would only get worse. I still have literature, but I get to focus on music, full-time. What a blessing! Many people would take that for granted, but not I.
So freakin' pumped for the opportunity to be creative and collaborative. Visiting with my colleagues also made me feel very much at home. Maybe I finally am.
I just met with the principal about my new schedule. I tried to get 90% of my prep work done before this meeting because I was sure that my new full-time schedule, which we had been discussing for months, would involve plenty of math and other random duties to make me full-time, since music has not been considered a full-time responsibility for over a decade.
Here's the reader's digest version: no math, bi-weekly second grade general added (from the elem. music specialist's load), daily recess duty, and giant blocks of time everyday for me to collaborate with other teachers, focus on building te program, and spend time in different classes expanding my music projects.
Excuse me, did I just die and go to heaven?
Words can't express how humbled and honored I feel. During a time when our school can use all the extra help I can get, I get to focus on music and work toward expanding the program. I feel totally honored with this responsibility and will do my damnedest to make the most of this opportunity. I left the semester feeling spread very thin, and sick knowing that it would only get worse. I still have literature, but I get to focus on music, full-time. What a blessing! Many people would take that for granted, but not I.
So freakin' pumped for the opportunity to be creative and collaborative. Visiting with my colleagues also made me feel very much at home. Maybe I finally am.
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