A New Transition: Doctoral Studies!!!

Hello, friends!

I’ve been fairly silent on my transition from teacher to full-time doc student, as well as silent in general in my blogosphere. A look back at my blog reveals that I really only turn to it in times of (challenging) growth. As I close in on the ending of my first semester, I have a lot on my mind. When asked how doc studies are going, I’m not sure if I should nervously laugh, admit that I feel like a total fraud, or let out a sheepish, “fine.” Well, in the thick of final papers and after nearly a semester of coursework, I think I’m finally making some connections - both personal and academic. I’m not looking for any validation here, nor am I feeling terribly pessimistic. I just want to accurately record these fleeting thoughts and grapple with them before I move on to my second semester, become comfortable, and forget how I ever felt as a brand new doc student. This is more for my own posterity than anything else, but if you truly want to know how things are going, take a read!

In full disclosure, I hid this post from anyone with whom I work or attend classes. Everyone has been incredibly welcoming and helpful, but for now, I feel like writing without reservation of what my new colleagues might think. In general, there are three recurring themes throughout the major professional transitions in my relatively short career. They are 1. holy crap, I have no idea what I’m doing; 2. I’m a fraud! They made a mistake!; and 3. OK, I’m learning a lot every day, but I still feel like everyone knows so much more than me. I’ll explore similarities between this transition and my transition from IC to SJV, and comment on the differences.

1. Well, this is it. I’ve officially fallen from my prime to rock bottom. (OK, I’m being REALLY dramatic - I don’t feel like that at all). But I did transition from skating through my MM to feeling like I’m missing a TON of assumed knowledge in my PhD. How does everybody else already know how to design an intervention? Do these people constantly read research all day? Am I the only one who doesn’t know how to or when to run an ANOVA? What the hell is a theoretical framework?! Why are they such a big deal in my social dev class, but rarely discussed in MUED? Help.

Reflecting upon my first semester at SJV, I actually thought a lot of these thoughts. I remember feeling like every other teacher had it together. EVERY OTHER BAND DIRECTOR in Hawai’i knew how to lead their students to success. Their bands sounded awesome and their students were respectful. I was the only one who had no idea what I was doing. OK, so in retrospect, that’s totally normal. One of my favorite people, a third-year doc student who has so kindly taken me under her wing told me that those feelings are completely normal. A prof told me that if I’m not always confused and looking something up, I’m not a real doc student. I remember the confusion and frustration of my first year of teaching. I spent HOURS researching things online, only to feel like I knew less than when I started. Same smell. At least this time around, I hope I can keep proper perspective, and remember that this is a transition and I’ll eventually figure things out. Since starting this program, I’ve had to adjust to the fact that if I don’t know something, it’s totally on me to figure it out. That’s not a problem - I’m a go-getter - but I can’t help but feel that everyone knows so much more than me. OK, I’m the youngest MUED doc student by a decade. Still, everyone seems to have everything figured out. I can only hope that I’ll catch up and then some like I did as a young teacher. It all worked out - I figured things out, ended up with a whole new set of questions, and eventually became comfortable with the uncertainty. Waiting for that calm….any day now…

2. I’m a fraud!!!!! I’m profoundly humbled to have received the largest/most prestigious award that UMD offers. With that honor comes the crushing responsibility of not screwing up. I also feel like mayyyybe they should’ve given it to one of the other 22,000 applicants…just saying. When I realize that I have no idea what I’m doing, or feel like the dumbest person in the room, I feel pretty guilty that the university has invested so heavily in my education. I can only hope that one day, I’m able to live up to the trust placed in me and actually contribute to our field. Until then, I’m trying to ask as many questions to learn as much as possible without revealing that I actually know nothing. This is pretty much exactly how I felt especially during my first year of teaching, but also on some level, every single day. Shhh…don’t give my secret away!!

3. OK, so I have to admit - even though I feel behind, I am learning a ton. I know so much more than when I started just a few short months ago. However, I feel like I’m not learning fast enough, or as much as others. I feel like I should’ve learned all of this already. If I can take a page from my teaching experience, then I should figure things out soon enough and end up doing pretty well for myself. I felt like such failure during my firs year. By the time I left SJV, I realized what a profound impact I had on those around me. What happened in the middle? I can’t really explain it, but things got better. I caught up. I was by no means exemplary or a model teacher, but I figured it out enough to have some success and learn something new each day. I hope that soon enough, I stop feeling like everyone knows something I don’t know. Maybe I’ll actually feel like I got somewhere by the time my dissertation rolls around. Although I can visualize myself completing it, I have no stinkin’ idea what it’ll be on or what kinds of things I’ll have learned to prepare me to tackle that beast.

Now that I’ve considered the similarities to past transitions, I want to acknowledge and give thanks for the the differences. First of all, i miss teaching more than anything. Part of me wants to run back to the classroom where I knew I was moderately successful and felt super knowledgeable and safe. That would be the easy route. I felt the same way when I started teaching - I wanted nothing more than to go back to school, where I knew I would be successful. Hah! School would be so easy, I thought. It’s funny how I feel the same way about returning to teaching.

Despite missing the classroom, there are some pretty fantastic perks of being a full-time student. First of all, I rarely go in five days a week. Lately, I’ve bad a bunch of meetings on Mondays, but for most of the semester, Mondays were my day off. I’d wake up, hit up the local coffee shop, get ahead on work, and then go for a long run. I rarely woke up anxious for the work week because I had the opportunity to ease into it! Also, I get to work out in an incredible gym a few days of the week. I go for nice long swims, lift, or do some cardio. The facilities are beautiful, and I end up returning to my work feeling refreshed. I remember thinking that I’d give anything to have a day off or work out time during the day while I was teaching.

Additionally, I feel entirely free to make my own choices. If I have to leave early or arrive late to office hours because of a doctor’s appointment, I can do so. Nobody is micromanaging me, which is nice because I tend to put in extra work time anyway. We’re all treated as adults and get to make our own decisions. The flip side of that is that I have to make my own decisions, but hey - it’s a chance to experience something less rigid than the elementary school day.

As challenging as some of my assignments are, the biggest stress in my life is just that - homework. If I get a B (which I already have…ugh, but I’m over it), it’s only on me. I don’t let down students or families or have to worry about finding a sub if I’m feeling under the weather. I loved teaching, but it also came with the weight of the world on my shoulders. OK, that’s pretty dramatic - nobody died if I did a poor job, but even though I don’t take myself seriously, I took the job just as seriously as a doctor would take theirs.

Finally, it’s nice to be around adults. I miss the love and honesty from my kids, but enjoy the change of pace as well. My absolute FAVORITE part of the week is taking junior student teachers to a middle school. They are the greatest - they’re so thoughtful, musical, and personable. I love watching them improve each week, and feel the same satisfaction when they have an “aha” moment as when my littlest students did. Something I enjoy is that we can have really involved conversations. I love the way that I’m challenged by my students, and feel that I’m growing and learning as an educator because of them. One of the junior student teachers comes in every Friday to each lunch with me, and that’s the best part of my week. I enjoy have the very conversations that ignited my passion for teaching only a handful of years ago, albeit from the other side.

I guess that’s all I have for now. Clearly, things are good. It’s interesting to be the rookie again, but if I can take a page from my time at SJV, I know it’ll go by so quickly. Maybe I’ll figure things out - whatever that means - and won’t ever look back. Or maybe I’ll be so jaded by academia in a few years that I run straight for the elementary music classroom with my new title in hand and hopefully a nice salary bump following closely behind. Either way, I’m looking forward to getting as much out of this opportunity as I can, and to Christmas vacation/Hawaii!!! Ahhh! Three more weeks! Let’s do this!!!

One Month Down!

As I write this from a trendy Clarendon (a bro-tastic Arlington, VA neighborhood) coffeeshop, it is bitterly cold outside. It has also been a month since we left Hawaii, so this is the first time I've had the chance and/or have enough of an update to write. While it's still too early to fully make up my mind about this place, I can say this: Northern VA/D.C. has welcomed us with open arms! There is so much to love about this place, and all of our big changes so far have been relatively smooth.

First of all, we survived a military move! Chris is an old pro, but I'm new to this game. Nothing was broken and the actual delivery went well. We still have tons of stuff to put away, which doesn't get done very quickly when you're both working, and MOUNDS of paper and boxes permeate our living space, but that's just normal stuff. Everyone told me to brace myself for high value items being broken and/or our crate falling off the ship in the middle of the sea, but it seems that we dodged that bullet.

The weather here has been great, except for today. It hasn't been colder than Ithaca, so as far as I'm concerned, that's great news! It snowed a bit last night, which was delightful! Today, however, it's bitterly cold. I got in the car to venture a few miles down the road to try this new coffee shop, and while driving FOUR MILES WITH MY GLOVES ON, my hands were in extreme pain. The other big thing everyone told us to brace ourselves for was traffic. It's definitely a thing, and I don't think I'll ever be able to drive anywhere aside from local neighborhood hangs without a GPS, but it hasn't been terrible...knock on wood. Chris has had an average commute considering that he works a good bit away, and I just drove in the direction of traffic a few towns over and wasn't at all intimidated. Tonight I drive over an hour to a hair appointment in the thick of rush hour, so wish me luck!

Work: it's still new, but I really like remote work! I don't work a ton of hours but still feel busy. There is a lot on my plate, which I like. I have an upcoming exam for grad school on top of unpacking, doing the normal move things (cable, internet, car registration, learning where the post office is, etc.), and I honestly don't get everything done that I set out to do each day. When the exam is over, I'm going to take a few days to relax and make sure we're settled, then begin volunteer work. I'm really looking forward to it! Even without "going to work" or having a new major activity here to meet new people, I've met a ton of people through some common friends. Perhaps the best part of D.C. living is that there are SO MANY people we know and love from all corners of our life. Not only do I have 5+ high school friends here, but one of my very best friends is here, and several Hawaii connections live nearby as well. Everyone has been wonderful about reaching out to help us get set up, but we honestly just haven't had the time to do anything. We're still not set up at home and we're both getting used to our work routines. I think that in two weeks, we should be set to start meeting up with old friends. I really want to make new friends as well (that might've been my favorite part about moving back home - I met SO many wonderful people who weren't from my childhood that it kept every day interesting), but know that'll come with time.

We are both so incredibly eager to jump into this new life. D.C. life is it's own thing. Hawaii has HILife and Ithaca definitely had its own vibe as well. I think I've just been so incredibly fortunate to live in places with really unique personalities. D.C. is no exception. There are countless amazing things to do and no shortage of restaurants and bars for us to try. We want to try them all while keeping up with our wedding diets and exercise! I'd love to see everyone I know ASAP, but there don't seem to be enough hours in the day. I know it'll come in time, so for now, I'll just keep focusing on getting our house to feel like a home.

I was so worried for this transition; I thought that I'd totally unravel and that I'd lose my sense of self and have nothing to do. I don't think that situation could be further from the truth! I definitely expect the worst, and was thankfully wrong. Of course, there is still a lot of time for me to get a pang of homesickness or to have a minor meltdown, but so far, so good. I can't believe that we are getting married in LESS THAN FIVE MONTHS AHHHHH. We have made good progress but still have a TON of wedding-related things to do. I told myself that once I got to March (bridal shower, dress fittings, mom visiting), things would fly by. That's still the case, but this time is ALREADY flying by!! There is so much to do and so much to look forward to that I don't have the chance to stop and lament anything. I get to work a bit, hopefully benefit SJV and my former students, and make a little extra cash. It's enough to keep my busy without biting off more than I can chew. I kept thinking that I should get another part-time job to supplement this one, but the school year here would conflict with our wedding and honeymoon plans. I kept thinking that I should find more work. I'm honestly glad that I didn't, because there is no way we would have cable, internet, cars, things set up, dinner made, etc. if I was gone too. This way, I can venture out, work a few hours, come home, study, set up, make some food, and take care of all of the moving errands. I would be so overwhelmed with two jobs, so I think I did it right. For now, I'll just wait to hear from PhD programs and hope that something comes my way. If that doesn't work out, I will gladly begin my job hunt and no doubt find something in one of these amazing school districts.

Real Estate: Our newest hobby is searching for homes on Zillow. We didn't think we'd be settled enough to buy yet, but are beginning to realize the investment that buying a home in this area would be, even if it's just a starter home. The only problem: $$$$$$$$$$$$$. I picked a neighborhood that I liked and ran a search for homes up to $500,000. There were barely any foreclosures! Ouch. Hopefully we'll begin working with a realtor soon and maybe we can even find our own place around the time we're married! Woo! It's exciting and totally daunting at the same time. Home prices here are no joke.

Finally: people are really friendly here! Everyone always totes Hawaii as the friendliest place, but people have been very helpful, courteous, and kind here. The people I knew (worked with, friends, family) in Hawaii were amazing, as were most random people you met. However, there were always a few loose cannons at restaurants, retail stores, or just roaming the street. I actually think that on average, people are friendlier here. We haven't had a rude encounter or a jerk driver yet, so that's good news. We feel very, very safe and are temporarily living in a gorgeous neighborhood with a public high school that makes HI's top private schools look average. There is so much to learn about this place, but our first month deserves two huge thumbs up! It's definitely better than I expected (and I expected great things!) and all has gone well. Hopefully we feel a little less busy soon, and hopefully we can see our HI clan very soon!

Hawaii to New York to Hawaii to Washington, D.C.

Last time I blogged, it was around this time last year. Interestingly, the post was largely about what's going on in my life now. In the past, I’ve used blogging to help me work through challenging transitions. The most challenging transition for me, by far, was my first year of teaching. Blogging helped me to organize my thoughts, reflect on my challenges and successes, and make sense of that unusually difficult time in my life. Eventually, things got better and the blogging took a back seat. I’m just about halfway through my fourth (!!) year of teaching, and realized that it’s time to pick it up again.

Next month, my incredible fiancé (!!!!!!!!) and I will move across the country to Washington, D.C. A bit of history: he’s a naval aviator who wanted a more stable set of shore tour orders. I’ve always loved the east coast, and in order to pursue the career I ultimately want, I, too, needed to seriously consider moving out of Hawaii. We love this place and it will always be our first home together. You can bet your dollar that our pets will have Hawaiian names and that we’ll return as often as possible to this special place so that our kids will come to know and love it as we have. That being said, there are many reasons why we want to start a family back east. First of all, great public schools should not be the exception - they should be the norm. Second, the types of jobs we both ultimately want rarely exist in Hawaii. Third, $$$$$$$$$ does not grow on trees. The best solution that we could come up with for our situation was to move to the Washington, D.C. area. Government/military jobs are plentiful, the arts and education are strongly supported, and it is a beautiful, safe, and enriching place to raise a family. I’m sure that most naval aviators and most music educators would not make the same choice that we have. But then again, he is not a typical naval aviator, and I am not a typical music educator. We march to the beat of our own drum, and this works for us.

That’s the exciting part, and BOY are we super excited! This is exactly what we’ve both wanted for a very long time, and we’re jumping with joy that it actually all worked out. The scary part is the uncertainty. He doesn’t know for sure that he will love this job, and I do not know for sure that a PhD program will even consider accepting me. Beyond that, who’s to say that there will even be a job in the area for a newly-minted PhD? Who’s to say that there will be jobs for someone with his credentials? We are taking risks, and that’s scary. But if you don’t pursue the life you want, then what kind of life is that?

I know that in the near future, we will be very happy. We will live in a super fun and safe young neighborhood. We will participate in a ton of races. We will constantly be in Washington, D.C. to enjoy the sights and attractions of one of the neatest cities on earth. We will eat and drink to our hearts’ content, catch the metro back home, and stumble into our trendy apartment. We already have a ton of our very good friends in the area, and are just a drive away from immediate and close family. Our parents and friends will visit often. We will try new activities, meet new people, and have at least three years sans deployments and crazy work hours. It will be awesome!!

But then there are the first 4-6 months where things will be totally new for me. I’m giving up a job I LOVE. Love is an understatement. I have a program of adoring students, parents, colleagues, and administrators that support me to no end and work together to make incredible musical feats a reality. I run the show, contribute to the larger purpose of our community, and walk away every day feeling fulfilled. Life has become grand, and this job is no longer difficult, but a rewarding challenge. In that sense, it’s time to move on; if the job is no longer pushing me out of my comfort zone, then it probably is time for me to step out of my comfort bubble. I have also forgotten what it is like to not be a full-time, salaried employee with a very stable job and an assistant. Let me clarify: my school and principal are AWESOME, and I will still have a job. I will have part-time, remote work supporting the school in a variety of ways, including throughout the reaccreditation process. I will have things to do and Chris and I will not be starving or struggling. I have saved diligently and if I am so lucky, in the fall, will possibly have the opportunity to pursue what I’ve wanted to pursue since junior year of my undergrad: a PhD in music education. We will get married, honeymoon, I’ll finish my MM, and then we’ll both be busy during normal working hours. But for me, not having something meaningful to do during working hours makes me feel uneasy and restless. He had a great solution: volunteer! I don’t need to get rich, but I need to make the world a better place, one person at a time. I’m not fortunate enough to be born into wealth, so if I must work, I feel the need to be a truly productive member of society. Volunteering would fit that bill. I’ve looked for some part-time, flexible work to complement my other commitments. I can’t take on something full-time because we’ll have SO MUCH to do in order to get settled. I’ll also have other work, and don’t want to be doing it on top of full-time work. I also don’t want to look for a long-term job, as my goal is to immediately pursue further education. I’m trying to balance keeping busy and bringing in a little more income with staying flexible enough to get settled in a new area. If there is one thing I learned from going through the move on this end, it’s that preparing to move (or unpack) as a military significant other is a full time job. I already feel like I’m not getting anything done outside of work here, and can’t imagine trying to get settled in our new location with a new job on my plate that I plan to quit in a couple short months WHILE TRYING TO GET MARRIED AHHHHHH.

So yeah, that’s my dilemma. I think in the mean time, I need to work at being flexible and patient. I’ll begin looking for volunteer opportunities and will do my best to remember all of the exciting things ahead in the midst of all of the sad and difficult things left to do here. Transitions are challenging for me, but this will be the gateway to the life that we want to build together. Here goes nothing!

Welcome Back to the Rat Race

Hello! I've been absent from blogging for the last year and some odd months (aside from grad school, hehe), so I figured I'd get back into it. In addition to writing my first post back to the world of recreational and therapeutic blogging, I clearly need to change the title of this blog because I am in...YEAR THREE!!!

I relied on this blog to vent, process, and connect during an eye-opening first year. As you may have read, my job turned from a nightmare to a dream job. Last year, I had another chance to correct my first-year mistakes. I took up endurance training, passed the time of Chris' deployment with marathon training and further building the music program, and learned and grew plenty along the way. Sometime in that space I applied for grad school, got two great offers, and decided to return to IC. This summer, I enjoyed being back in the classroom and got plenty of great new ideas for this coming year.

I implemented what I learned and was stunned by the positive results. I'm finding that my students are more engaged, happier, and much more successful. I'm way less frustrated, I feel like they are really learning and appreciating music, and I leave work quite early every day without a mountain of work waiting for my return. Our new assistant director (a good friend) has been amazing, and between the two of us, it's a pretty sweet gig. No place is without its quirks, but I'm very happy....and therein lies my problem - I'm stuck. I'm certainly not claiming that I have got this music teacher thing down, nor that I don't have work to do, or don't have things to improve. I've got plenty of the prior, so let me be clear: I don't feel totally captivated and inspired like I've felt when I studied or taught music in the past. The challenge, the subject matter, and the struggles used to keep a fire burning in me. I'd have to pry myself away from work because I just enjoyed it so frickin' much. Even though the early struggles were great, finding a solution was ten times more rewarding. Work was an addition that became my identity.

Somewhere along the way, I've become much better at my work-life balance. Being home early is GREAT and I usually finish my lesson planning on Friday afternoons so I leave for the weekend home-free. Chris and I have been having a great time trying as many new things as we can, and life has been very good, and very comfortable. Many people would kill for this, but it bothers me. I also don't have many non-work activities going on these days. I gave many of them up to train for races, and with Chris' deployment around the corner, I don't want to miss out on precious time with him. Perhaps I need to return to them when he heads back overseas - I'm sure the improv and community band will do me well!

Being the problem-solver that I am, I'm going to attempt to brainstorm some fixes. PLEASE feel free to chime in, offering any advice that you might have!

Potential solutions: discover what DOES ignite me and do more of that. Right now, that includes planning unique concerts that leave the audience amazed and the students excited. I could do a chamber music concert, a general music concert, or a school drama production - all things I haven't done that I'd like to try.

Train for a bigger race - half Ironman, anyone?

Read voraciously.

Become a Pinterest queen.

Pick up tennis again.

Take time to get in touch with myself - what are all the things I've wanted to do in Hawaii? I have a year left, so it's time to get crackin'.

At this point, it's worth mentioning that Chris and I are on our way out. He's talking about orders with the appropriate parties, and I'm going along for the ride. I've always wanted to do my Ph.D, so a very realistic option for our next location is for me to be a full-time Ph.D student. I'll still have six months to kill between our arrival and my final summer of grad school, so I need to decide if I want to seek a long-term sub position, take random sub jobs, or do something totally different. Lingering in the back of my mind is the thought that life is rolling along very quickly, and it wouldn't hurt to explore other options - is this really what I want to do? It was for a long time, but with a lack of inspiration, is it time to move on, or just a slump? Advice is appreciated! Until next time...!

Wrapping up

I'm so thankful for the eye-opening experiences I've had this summer. In addition to all the required coursework, I look forward to performing independent research next summer. While I haven't decided on a topic, I know I'll need to do a literature review before I even decide what I'd like to know more about. ERIC will be a wonderful database for me to search for previous research on my topic. I now know how to navigate it much better by utilizing title and author fields and controlled vocabulary in lieu of a vague keyword search. Though I've always fancied myself a skillful searcher (read: stalker), I really didn't know how to use all of the functions of advanced search, and I certainly had no idea what controlled vocabulary was! Now that I know, I'm much better prepared to locate pertinent resources.

On the off-chance that IC doesn't have something I need, I now know how to track it down via WorldCat. My experiences with ILL were positive (no rejection!), so I'm confident that I'll have access to anything that I might need. As far as next school year goes, I know that I'll make use of several resources covered in class. I'd like to do a better job connecting art and music, so I know that I can use the Inventory of music iconography to find relevant artwork. Now that we know about Creative Commons (which is something I've seen on a bunch of teaching blogs that I follow), I will be able to search for graphics for my handouts and other resources without worrying about violating copyright laws. I know that there are ways I could incorporate the other resources we've learned about that are more music-specific than they are geared toward education, but I think that I'll start with what's listed above and venture into some other collections in between summers two and three. I really enjoyed the presentations by my peers on their digital repositories, and know that I can incorporate those in specific lessons. For example, I could use artifacts from the MET on an opera lesson in general music, or I could use jazz teachings from Berkeley or a high school interpretation of 4'33" when working with my middle schoolers. Since my classes for the older kids are more project-based and driven by topics that interest them, I'll have to wait to see how the year unfolds.

Digitized Collections and Dementors

The first reading, Scholars Perspective: Impact of Digitized Collections on Learning and Teaching, intrigued me much more than I thought it would based on the title. While this presentation addressed the issues in higher education informational literacy, I wondered what I could be doing to teach my middle schoolers informational literacy. When I taught Honors Literature to a select group of eighth graders, this would've clearly been a necessity. Now as the director of bands and orchestras, I'm unsure about the necessity or the application to middle school music. What would teaching informational literacy look like in the middle school chamber group? I have no idea, but wonder if I have a responsibility to address this with my students.

My second concern was the disadvantage that smaller universities face. For this reason, I contemplated attending the University of Michigan, an extremely large, comprehensive university, instead of IC. I certainly don't regret my decision to attend IC, and feel that I have access to everything that I would need at the master's level. I am thinking ahead, though, and plan to begin a Ph.D program in the next few years. Due to geographic limitations, it's likely that I will find myself at a university lacking resources like the Yale, Harvard, Berkeley, or Michigan. Will this affect my experience and opportunities? I was less concerned with the size of the university, as the few I'm considering in our next potential location (this is not set in stone, as my boyfriend is in the military) all contain wonderful, reputable music education programs. I do see now how I should consider the quality of the resource collections as well, especially since I'll be performing original research.

Regarding my presentation on Wednesday, I don't think that the John Cage digitized collection threatens the physical collection. It addresses an entirely different need, which is the opportunity for performers to submit their interpretations of how Cage's music continues to impact performance. It is not a comprehensive digitization of the related physical collection, but a niche collection that aligns with Cage's philosophy I also don't think that this digitized collection would serve anyone at a smaller university, lacking access to primary sources of Cage. While there are some pictures of manuscripts, the collection is extremely limited and constantly evolving. This digitization is an innovative resource, but does not help to bridge the gap between the offerings of large, wealthy universities, and smaller, less-endowed ones as Watt hoped.

On a completely unrelated note, I don't think I've ever given thought to music in video games. While I enjoy kicking some major behind in Mario Kart 64, I'm not exactly a gamer. I assumed that the music in video games is all produced by synth and lacks much thought or coordination. I was very surprised to see a phenomenally talented orchestra recording music to be mixed by professionals who understand pivotal moments and sequencing of the game. While watching, I thought that it would be impossible to line up music and major events, but it was quickly explained that some events are predictable, and others are not, so they loop the music. I was also impressed by the efforts to make the music less jerky and more gradual in battle scenes. I have to admit that the EA facilities were pretty neat! I also agree with the musicians - perhaps I avoid video games because of my addictive personality. Watching the game and the music in action, it was very cool to see how an increase in enemies led to a different musical event. The variety employed to keep a limited amour of music interesting in a potentially limitless game impressed and intrigued me. I had no idea that video game music was such a thoughtful process!

"Weepy Timbre"

To be honest, I hadn't noticed the poor quality of popular music criticism because I've never paid any attention to it! I'm admittedly intrigued by the trashy headlines and sometimes take a glance at the latest "musical criticism" just to get my laughs in for the day. For instance, today's musical headline that popped up on my Hawaii News Now app regarded a scuffle between Justin Bieber and Orlando Bloom. I enjoyed a chuckle and went back to bed.

Since I'm ill-informed on this topic, I did ran a search for music reviews, and the Rolling Stone album reviews appeared. I found this review on Robin Thicke's new album entitled, "Paula". http://www.rollingstone.com/music/albumreviews/paula-20140709

This review is extremely brief and the only music-specific comment makes mention of his falsetto. The rest of the review is focused on how his shady hit, "Blurred Lines" contributed to the breakdown of his marriage and how this album is a pathetic attempt to win his ex-wife back. The musical merit of this album is not actually discussed; the brief, shallow review discusses Thicke's failing personal life. If I wanted to learn anything about this musical elements present in this album, I would not find it here.

While I'm sure that many music critics were irked by Ted Gioia's commentary, he has a valid point. I do think that the potential for an informed discussion of musical merit would appeal to the public. Gioia reminds us that we see the athletic equivalent on ESPN daily, and sports fans everywhere are glued to their TVs, soaking up this analysis and criticism. What other subject exists in American pop culture that people love more than music? The potential is there, if approached in a way that is made relevant and digestible to the average music consumer, but perhaps the general public needs to be shown what this looks like. Perhaps it's been so long since musical criticisms were read and appreciated that we've forgotten what they look like and what value they possess. In my personal experiences, my students have loved learning about the elements of music and how they influence our preferences. I'd even love to do an assignment with my middle school general music students next year where they write their own academic criticisms of popular music. I'm sure that the average American can appreciate thoughtful, informed criticisms of music, but somebody needs to take the lead set the tone before other critics will follow.