Last time I blogged, it was around this time last year. Interestingly, the post was largely about what's going on in my life now. In the past, I’ve used blogging to help me work through challenging transitions. The most challenging transition for me, by far, was my first year of teaching. Blogging helped me to organize my thoughts, reflect on my challenges and successes, and make sense of that unusually difficult time in my life. Eventually, things got better and the blogging took a back seat. I’m just about halfway through my fourth (!!) year of teaching, and realized that it’s time to pick it up again.
Next month, my incredible fiancé (!!!!!!!!) and I will move across the country to Washington, D.C. A bit of history: he’s a naval aviator who wanted a more stable set of shore tour orders. I’ve always loved the east coast, and in order to pursue the career I ultimately want, I, too, needed to seriously consider moving out of Hawaii. We love this place and it will always be our first home together. You can bet your dollar that our pets will have Hawaiian names and that we’ll return as often as possible to this special place so that our kids will come to know and love it as we have. That being said, there are many reasons why we want to start a family back east. First of all, great public schools should not be the exception - they should be the norm. Second, the types of jobs we both ultimately want rarely exist in Hawaii. Third, $$$$$$$$$ does not grow on trees. The best solution that we could come up with for our situation was to move to the Washington, D.C. area. Government/military jobs are plentiful, the arts and education are strongly supported, and it is a beautiful, safe, and enriching place to raise a family. I’m sure that most naval aviators and most music educators would not make the same choice that we have. But then again, he is not a typical naval aviator, and I am not a typical music educator. We march to the beat of our own drum, and this works for us.
That’s the exciting part, and BOY are we super excited! This is exactly what we’ve both wanted for a very long time, and we’re jumping with joy that it actually all worked out. The scary part is the uncertainty. He doesn’t know for sure that he will love this job, and I do not know for sure that a PhD program will even consider accepting me. Beyond that, who’s to say that there will even be a job in the area for a newly-minted PhD? Who’s to say that there will be jobs for someone with his credentials? We are taking risks, and that’s scary. But if you don’t pursue the life you want, then what kind of life is that?
I know that in the near future, we will be very happy. We will live in a super fun and safe young neighborhood. We will participate in a ton of races. We will constantly be in Washington, D.C. to enjoy the sights and attractions of one of the neatest cities on earth. We will eat and drink to our hearts’ content, catch the metro back home, and stumble into our trendy apartment. We already have a ton of our very good friends in the area, and are just a drive away from immediate and close family. Our parents and friends will visit often. We will try new activities, meet new people, and have at least three years sans deployments and crazy work hours. It will be awesome!!
But then there are the first 4-6 months where things will be totally new for me. I’m giving up a job I LOVE. Love is an understatement. I have a program of adoring students, parents, colleagues, and administrators that support me to no end and work together to make incredible musical feats a reality. I run the show, contribute to the larger purpose of our community, and walk away every day feeling fulfilled. Life has become grand, and this job is no longer difficult, but a rewarding challenge. In that sense, it’s time to move on; if the job is no longer pushing me out of my comfort zone, then it probably is time for me to step out of my comfort bubble. I have also forgotten what it is like to not be a full-time, salaried employee with a very stable job and an assistant. Let me clarify: my school and principal are AWESOME, and I will still have a job. I will have part-time, remote work supporting the school in a variety of ways, including throughout the reaccreditation process. I will have things to do and Chris and I will not be starving or struggling. I have saved diligently and if I am so lucky, in the fall, will possibly have the opportunity to pursue what I’ve wanted to pursue since junior year of my undergrad: a PhD in music education. We will get married, honeymoon, I’ll finish my MM, and then we’ll both be busy during normal working hours. But for me, not having something meaningful to do during working hours makes me feel uneasy and restless. He had a great solution: volunteer! I don’t need to get rich, but I need to make the world a better place, one person at a time. I’m not fortunate enough to be born into wealth, so if I must work, I feel the need to be a truly productive member of society. Volunteering would fit that bill. I’ve looked for some part-time, flexible work to complement my other commitments. I can’t take on something full-time because we’ll have SO MUCH to do in order to get settled. I’ll also have other work, and don’t want to be doing it on top of full-time work. I also don’t want to look for a long-term job, as my goal is to immediately pursue further education. I’m trying to balance keeping busy and bringing in a little more income with staying flexible enough to get settled in a new area. If there is one thing I learned from going through the move on this end, it’s that preparing to move (or unpack) as a military significant other is a full time job. I already feel like I’m not getting anything done outside of work here, and can’t imagine trying to get settled in our new location with a new job on my plate that I plan to quit in a couple short months WHILE TRYING TO GET MARRIED AHHHHHH.
So yeah, that’s my dilemma. I think in the mean time, I need to work at being flexible and patient. I’ll begin looking for volunteer opportunities and will do my best to remember all of the exciting things ahead in the midst of all of the sad and difficult things left to do here. Transitions are challenging for me, but this will be the gateway to the life that we want to build together. Here goes nothing!
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