Welcome Back to the Rat Race

Hello! I've been absent from blogging for the last year and some odd months (aside from grad school, hehe), so I figured I'd get back into it. In addition to writing my first post back to the world of recreational and therapeutic blogging, I clearly need to change the title of this blog because I am in...YEAR THREE!!!

I relied on this blog to vent, process, and connect during an eye-opening first year. As you may have read, my job turned from a nightmare to a dream job. Last year, I had another chance to correct my first-year mistakes. I took up endurance training, passed the time of Chris' deployment with marathon training and further building the music program, and learned and grew plenty along the way. Sometime in that space I applied for grad school, got two great offers, and decided to return to IC. This summer, I enjoyed being back in the classroom and got plenty of great new ideas for this coming year.

I implemented what I learned and was stunned by the positive results. I'm finding that my students are more engaged, happier, and much more successful. I'm way less frustrated, I feel like they are really learning and appreciating music, and I leave work quite early every day without a mountain of work waiting for my return. Our new assistant director (a good friend) has been amazing, and between the two of us, it's a pretty sweet gig. No place is without its quirks, but I'm very happy....and therein lies my problem - I'm stuck. I'm certainly not claiming that I have got this music teacher thing down, nor that I don't have work to do, or don't have things to improve. I've got plenty of the prior, so let me be clear: I don't feel totally captivated and inspired like I've felt when I studied or taught music in the past. The challenge, the subject matter, and the struggles used to keep a fire burning in me. I'd have to pry myself away from work because I just enjoyed it so frickin' much. Even though the early struggles were great, finding a solution was ten times more rewarding. Work was an addition that became my identity.

Somewhere along the way, I've become much better at my work-life balance. Being home early is GREAT and I usually finish my lesson planning on Friday afternoons so I leave for the weekend home-free. Chris and I have been having a great time trying as many new things as we can, and life has been very good, and very comfortable. Many people would kill for this, but it bothers me. I also don't have many non-work activities going on these days. I gave many of them up to train for races, and with Chris' deployment around the corner, I don't want to miss out on precious time with him. Perhaps I need to return to them when he heads back overseas - I'm sure the improv and community band will do me well!

Being the problem-solver that I am, I'm going to attempt to brainstorm some fixes. PLEASE feel free to chime in, offering any advice that you might have!

Potential solutions: discover what DOES ignite me and do more of that. Right now, that includes planning unique concerts that leave the audience amazed and the students excited. I could do a chamber music concert, a general music concert, or a school drama production - all things I haven't done that I'd like to try.

Train for a bigger race - half Ironman, anyone?

Read voraciously.

Become a Pinterest queen.

Pick up tennis again.

Take time to get in touch with myself - what are all the things I've wanted to do in Hawaii? I have a year left, so it's time to get crackin'.

At this point, it's worth mentioning that Chris and I are on our way out. He's talking about orders with the appropriate parties, and I'm going along for the ride. I've always wanted to do my Ph.D, so a very realistic option for our next location is for me to be a full-time Ph.D student. I'll still have six months to kill between our arrival and my final summer of grad school, so I need to decide if I want to seek a long-term sub position, take random sub jobs, or do something totally different. Lingering in the back of my mind is the thought that life is rolling along very quickly, and it wouldn't hurt to explore other options - is this really what I want to do? It was for a long time, but with a lack of inspiration, is it time to move on, or just a slump? Advice is appreciated! Until next time...!