Some Nights

It seems that the better part of a month has come and gone since my last post.  Let's play catch-up:

Parents left to help my west coast grandma move to the east coast
Friends left.  :(
Lonely Dana.
Busy Dana.  BUSY BUSY BUSY.
General music.  Third and fifth grade classes are stinkin' adorable.
Honors Literature gets rollin'.  Did I mention that this is my favorite class, yet it has little to do with music? Last week, we compared Fun.'s Some Nights to The Chocolate War. Amazing!
Recruitment!  Play instrument demos in every general music class for a week.  Everyone seems to want to join band or orchestra.
Inventory what's in the closet (yes, I don't quite have a classroom - I operate out of the school's large assembly hall.  We keep our music supplies in a large closet.  The closet is insanely packed until rented instruments go out to students.)
Make some great finds - killer Orff instruments, fifty-plus band and orchestra instruments in pretty good shape for a small school.  Not bad!
Made a database on Bento, a product by FileMaker.  Looks pretty, but very time consuming.
Start practicing piano like a mofo.  Goal: play the mass for our next school mass, in less than a month.  This includes the holy, memorial acclimation, doxology, great amen, yes lord, alleluia, lamb of God.  Practice everyday, slowly, hands separately, hands together, working from the end to the beginning.  Practicing like I'm a beginner again (cause I am), without preconceived notions like "I should just be able to do this already," and "this is taking too long." it comes back.  Bit by bit, I speed up.  I can play the piano again! Hiccups here and there.  Go back to a slower speed.  Practice more.  I forgot how much I enjoyed the piano.  Can't wait to begin lessons. :)

Work with some students for a small performance at a weekend event celebrating the Parish's 50th anniversary.  They did great!  Very proud of them.
Mom and dad are back.  Hooray!  No more waking up at 4am to feed the cat (she is nearly 17, so we spoil her and feed her when she likes to be fed...several times a day, beginning at 4am).  
Keeping up a house is hard work.  Remind me to not buy a large house, ever.
Still have not thanked people on Facebook for the birthday wishes...this upcoming weekend, I promise!
Rental forms went out.  Not many came back.  I thought that for sure, we would recruit more than we had instruments for.  I guess it's easy to be interested, but when forms go home, a commitment has to be made, and payment must come in, it's a different story.

Up until this point, it's been hunky-dory.  I've had no complaints whatsoever.  Everything was playing out according to the plans that I create in the wildest parts of my imagination.

Don't get me wrong, things are good.  I love my new job more than I ever could've imagined when I signed the contract.  Living at home is great.  I'm saving money. Beginning to work out again - finally.  Becoming a pianist more and more each day.  About to begin practicing horn again.  I guess, for the first time, I hit a wall, and it was perhaps the first bit of frustration I've felt in several months.

Let me explain.  Starting a new job isn't easy.  It takes a while, but it seems that everywhere I go, I meet amazing people, find my niche, and have no problem loving and being loved.  Teaching summer school was easy because I had worked there as an aide for three summers.  I did run into some trouble starting the glee class because we almost didn't get enough students to run the class, and we did not nearly get enough students to even offer a middle school version.  I think it's safe to say that the concert and the happiness and success experienced by the students will fix that issue next year.  I have faith that next year, glee will run, and with no shortage of students.  I think that I need to work really hard this year so that the same thing happens next year with band and orchestra.  Being a young, new teacher doesn't even come close to the loyalty the students have to their favorite teachers.  At the first day welcome back assembly, I noticed that the veteran teachers were cheered for, celebrated, and welcomed eagerly by students.  Again, I'm not in this profession for an ego boost - I have friends who mean more to me than I could ever tell them, and that's enough - but let's just say that I noticed that I was new. Just like going away to college was a difficult, homesick transition for me, the transition into being a full time teacher will take a while. It won't be overnight, but I have faith that one day, I'm going to wake up and not feel like the new teacher anymore. Things will feel like home.

“One never reaches home,' she said. 'But where paths that have an affinity for each other intersect, the whole world looks like home, for a time.” - Hermann Hesse, Demian

Before that can happen, I have to pay my dues.

It took a week or two, but it was really nice to have several teachers come up to me and tell me that either they have been impressed thus far, or that their students' parents have been emailing them, saying that their kids came home, excited about their new music teacher.  In a world where what we do has to please students, parents, colleagues, administrators, and ourselves, that was a huge, welcomed sigh of relief.  Now, kids say "hi" to me on the playground, which is really cool! I've seen a number of my students at Starbucks, or simply around Kailua, and they are all really friendly and stop to chat for a bit. I think things are a little less lonely in that sense, although every now and then, I realize that I'm not in college anymore, and long for carefree nights filled with baked goods and duck farts. For example, today begins a four day weekend. I woke up not knowing what to do with myself. Since I'm back home, I obviously know people and have friends, but I don't have that trusty ol' group of bffs like I did in Ithaca. There could never be a dull moment living in 18-07, and to be honest, I long for that. I nipped some boredom in the bud the other day by getting shave ice with my parents after work, but there comes a time when I'm all caught up on work and am ready for a break, and I don't have any live-in friends with whom I can bake some cookies or watch big bang theory and eat delivery. I'm sure that this will all settle into place before I know it, but for now, I'm beginning to notice that things are different.

On the other hand, I am both living and working in my hometown. I was worried about this, because I thought I would feel trapped and bored, like I've Met my lifetime quota for living in Kailua. However, it feels totally different. For one, I feel like I'm on display - if I jaywalk or run across a crosswalk at the last minute, or make an asshole move in traffic, one of my students, co-workers, or students’ parents could easily witness this. This has caused me to be even more scrupulous than I usually am, and I kind of like it. It seems like everytime I go out, I do run into a student. Also, riding the bus has been great - I never really appreciated Hawaii's bus system. I've so far been able to finagle it so that I get on a bus and get dropped off across the street from my house. Pretty convenient, huh? There's no need to get a car right away, and I'm enjoying riding my bike when the weather is nice (95% of the time).

This has been a disgusting mass of information to make up for my lack of blogging, but hopefully it allows the 2-3 readers I have a glimpse into what's been going on. I'll end with a few announcements:

Just made my first student loan payment - it was automatically debited from my account. Yay?

Those who have recently obtained jobs and might be feeling a little lonely or overwhelmed, as I am sometimes feeling - let's keep in touch, stick together, and share our experiences. I am very, very fortunate to be working side-by-side with my former music teacher, who is helping me make the transition into the profession as she makes her transition into retirement. I haven't been too lonely, but on the days when she isn't there, I can see how this would be a lonely, tiring, and demanding job. Don't get me wrong - it's been tremendously rewarding and stimulating, even thus far - it's just that we were just big fish in a medium-sized pond, and we are now little fish, regardless of the size of the pond. We're at the bottom of the pay scale - the first to go in the event of budget cuts, the newest, youngest faculty members. It's quite a transition, but thankfully we have each other. Here's to a great first year! Don't be afraid to pick up the phone and call after a long, trying day.

My students are teaching me more than they realize; I'm feeling totally stimulated and artistically fulfilled preparing lessons for them and seeing them make important connections. This is especially true in the literature class. It's a little harder to see in general music right now, since most of what we are doing is preparing for our upcoming school mass, but improvising with the pentatonic scale with eighth grade last week was pretty neat. Hopefully band and orchestra provide even more of a creative outlet to all involved. I can see how one day, I might choose to specialize a little more, but for now, this jack of all trades (master of none) deal is pretty fun.

Finally - thanks to being year round, I have a two week fall and spring break (and a three week winter break, but I'm probably staying home for that). My parents have travel vouchers to use, and I want to visit friends, so I'm thinking that I'm going to spend a couple days in SF, a day in East Lansing, several days in NYC, a few days in Maryland to visit family, and a few days in Ithaca to see old friends and have some fun. Let me know if you'll be around - let's meet up, and thank you, Catholic Schools, for the sick-nasty break, even if it means a short summer! Yahooooooooo!